Yes

In my last post, I talked about how God chose me. A girl without all of the credentials. A girl who didn't have a clue, but a girl who said yes to God. And meant it.

When I said yes, it changed everything. In one moment at a Life Group in a stranger's living room, God changed everything. I said yes, and my yes meant so many things for me.
It meant walking away from a group of people who I thought were my family.
It meant leaving the only place of work I'd known for 6 years.
It meant entering into a position where I felt clueless and unqualified 99.9% of the time.
It meant facing some big challenges and obstacles with boldness, faith and confidence.

Now, please hear me right, no one in my life was asking me to quit my job at Red Robin, walk away from friendships and start over. That wasn't the case at all. Through a series of events (well, one event actually; back surgery) I had to leave my job. After leaving my job, it became clear to me that the people I left behind weren't exactly the family I had once thought them to be. I mean no disrespect. I love many of them still, but by saying yes to God, I began to realize that He had so much more for me. He wanted more for me. Which made me begin to want more for myself.

My yes to God was a difficult yes. One that I questioned time and time again.
"Am I REALLY cut out for this?"
I found myself asking that question out loud on a daily basis... waiting for someone to finally say "NO, YOU'RE NOT!!" so that I could pack up and head back to my old life, where things were easy and comfortable and familiar. Instead, I had people telling me everyday "There's no doubt in our minds that you're the one for this position. We wouldn't want anybody else doing what you're doing." I began to realize that, although I didn't fit the typical mold for what a "Children's Ministry Director" was supposed to look like, God chose me. And he made that clear to those around me. You see, it didn't matter that I'd never attended a day of Sunday School in my life. God wanted to use me, and because I said yes, he would continue to lead me.

I've been told on more than one occasion that I have an "Esther" calling. I'd have to say, I agree! Not because Esther was bold or had the Lord's favor, but because Esther was different, but she was different on PURPOSE! I've been placed on a team of people who have grown up in church their entire lives. They've gone to Christian colleges and attended countless retreats and Bible studies and Worship nights and Sunday School classes. They come from Christian families, with fathers who are pastors. Not me. I'd never stepped foot in a church until I was 22. I had no idea who Moses was, or what the Lord's Prayer was, or why people were raising their hands while they were singing, or why a bucket was being passed around and people were putting money into it. I was clueless. But God chose me. He made me different on my team, but different on purpose. My life is different and my story is different, but God chooses that life and that story too. He wants it all, and here I am, still saying yes to him.