Sometimes the past fogs my vision.
I try to live life through the rear-view mirror.
I hold onto the past.
To the pain from the past.
I become comfortable with that pain.
It becomes a little companion that I carry with me everywhere I go.
Reminding me of the things I've done wrong.
Of what a mess I am.
Of what a mess my life looks like most days.
Of all the ways I've made mistakes.
And of all the ways those mistakes will forever go with me.
This companion, it has a name.
This companion is called shame.
It's sneaky and tricky and comes camouflaged in all shapes and sizes.
It settles into the places in your inner-most being, the most tucked away places, the most hidden and repressed. The most insecure.
And it sits there.
And sits there.
And sits there.
Reminding you of why you aren't worthy.
And why you aren't deserving of good things.
And all of the things you've done wrong.
And so, you listen.
You believe.
You accept these as the truth.
Because it's what you hear and feel. So it becomes reality.
But, there's some good news.
Really, really, exceptionally, extraordinarily, astonishingly, stupendously good news.
When Jesus climbed the mountain
And hung on the Cross
And laid down his life for us
It meant no more sacrificing, no more striving, no more living in a place of pain, of sin, of shame.
When Jesus uttered the words "It is finished" it meant we could stop climbing that mountain of shame.
Shame is gone. That constant companion is forever vanished from our lives.
And in it's place is joy
and love
and peace
and excitement
and hope
and redemption
and healing
and freedom
and strength.
Shame is gone. Because of Jesus, shame will never have a place in our lives ever again.
My favorite Psalm says it best, "Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces." Psalm 34:5
So when the truth is hard to see, and I'm living from my rear-view mirror, I have to remember that I don't have to climb that mountain any more. It is finished. Jesus took the last trip up that mountain.
And because of that, I get to live from a place of such beauty. Such gratitude. Such love. Such joy.
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Hey Emily,
My name's Kimberly and I met you today in your office when I dropped off the poster for the Christian Writer's Conference. Just wanted you to know that I checked out your blog and thorougly enjoyed it. I can see why you're getting such positive feedback. I like the look of your blog and your writing is fun to read. Blessings to you and may God continue to guide and direct your steps as you walk out your journey of life with Him... the original giver of dreams!
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