Sunday was a great day.
Loads of little feet running up and down the Stirring Kids hallway.
Hundreds of spunky kids ready for their morning. All full of energy and hope and potential.
I love Sundays.
I love saying hello to every one of those faces. Most of them return my hello with a wave or a shout or a high-five or a toothy grin.
These kids are what I live for. To show them the love the God has for them. To show them who they are in His eyes. To pour passion and love and dreams into their sweet, dear little minds.
Dan spoke on Sunday.
He always wrecks me. God pierces my heart through his words. Every time.
Something that Dan said this past Sunday truly challenged me. He said that not a single part of our story is wasted. Even the toughest times. Nothing is lost. God uses it all.
My first thought after hearing these words: Do I really believe this? Do I truly believe that EVERY part of my story, even the most painful, heartbreaking, agonizing parts, are used by God?
And as I looked back at my journey and the things I've overcome through the years, I would have to say yes. I believe that God was with me in EVERY part. That He will use everything. That my life shouts hope to those who are unsure. That the freedom I've found also comes with authority to speak that freedom over others. God never wanted me to suffer. He never wanted me to endure the hardships I have, BUT He will redeem it and use it and restore it. I want my life, my story, my journey to shout hope to others. I know that there is a reason for every season I've gone through. I know that God uses everything. That nothing is lost.
"You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed." Psalm 139:16
Showing posts with label the Stirring. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the Stirring. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Thankful Thursday
I'm bringing back Thankful Thursday.
One day during the busy week to pause, reflect, and give thanks. Sounds like perfection to me.
Today, I know exactly what I'm thankful for.
Today is an easy one.
I was uploading pictures to my computer from my phone. I hadn't done this in a WHILE, so there were a lot. As I began to scroll through them, I found myself in tears. In this collection of random pictures (many, okay MOSTLY of children) I kept running across pictures of the Stirring building in various stages of the process. A picture of the Kids hallway before the ceiling was up and the counter top was installed. A shot of one of my Stirring Kids girls painting the girl's bathroom. Another one of a crew putting together a bazillion IKEA cabinets. A picture of our move-out day from the Eureka Way campus where Sean is sprawled out in the Storage Room (who knew there was actually carpet in that room?! I sure didn't!). A picture of each classroom on our last Sunday at that campus. A great shot of the classrooms prior to opening Sunday in the new building. Then there is picture after picture of the kids flooding the hallway of the Kids wing.
Chills.
I am so thankful for the process. For the road. For the journey.
I remember the hard work of setting up and tearing down Sunday after Sunday at the Eureka Way campus. I remember transforming ordinary classrooms into extraordinary places for kids to encounter God. I remember how difficult it was trying to prepare and organize the new space and make sense of ACTUALLY having our "own house." It was hard to go from living out of a suitcase (so to speak) to actually having a closet... The endless hours of cleaning and sorting and organizing and building and answering questions and building teams. It was a tireless couple of weeks.
But then I also remember the look of awe and excitement in the eyes of the kids as they came busting into the Stirring Kids hallway. I remember overhearing parents telling each other of how their kids were up HOURS early, getting ready to come to the NEW Church. I remember the wonder on the faces of those kids as they saw their classrooms for the very first time.
I wouldn't change the process for anything. Without the sacrifice and the hard work, the reward wouldn't be nearly as beautiful.
Don't forget to be thankful for the process. Even if it's hard and difficult and tiresome. Don't forget to be thankful for the process. (Here are all of the pictures... well, not ALL of them, but some of my FAVES.... enjoy!!!)
One day during the busy week to pause, reflect, and give thanks. Sounds like perfection to me.
Today, I know exactly what I'm thankful for.
Today is an easy one.
I was uploading pictures to my computer from my phone. I hadn't done this in a WHILE, so there were a lot. As I began to scroll through them, I found myself in tears. In this collection of random pictures (many, okay MOSTLY of children) I kept running across pictures of the Stirring building in various stages of the process. A picture of the Kids hallway before the ceiling was up and the counter top was installed. A shot of one of my Stirring Kids girls painting the girl's bathroom. Another one of a crew putting together a bazillion IKEA cabinets. A picture of our move-out day from the Eureka Way campus where Sean is sprawled out in the Storage Room (who knew there was actually carpet in that room?! I sure didn't!). A picture of each classroom on our last Sunday at that campus. A great shot of the classrooms prior to opening Sunday in the new building. Then there is picture after picture of the kids flooding the hallway of the Kids wing.
Chills.
I am so thankful for the process. For the road. For the journey.
I remember the hard work of setting up and tearing down Sunday after Sunday at the Eureka Way campus. I remember transforming ordinary classrooms into extraordinary places for kids to encounter God. I remember how difficult it was trying to prepare and organize the new space and make sense of ACTUALLY having our "own house." It was hard to go from living out of a suitcase (so to speak) to actually having a closet... The endless hours of cleaning and sorting and organizing and building and answering questions and building teams. It was a tireless couple of weeks.
But then I also remember the look of awe and excitement in the eyes of the kids as they came busting into the Stirring Kids hallway. I remember overhearing parents telling each other of how their kids were up HOURS early, getting ready to come to the NEW Church. I remember the wonder on the faces of those kids as they saw their classrooms for the very first time.
I wouldn't change the process for anything. Without the sacrifice and the hard work, the reward wouldn't be nearly as beautiful.
Don't forget to be thankful for the process. Even if it's hard and difficult and tiresome. Don't forget to be thankful for the process. (Here are all of the pictures... well, not ALL of them, but some of my FAVES.... enjoy!!!)
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Rear-view mirrors
Sometimes the past fogs my vision.
I try to live life through the rear-view mirror.
I hold onto the past.
To the pain from the past.
I become comfortable with that pain.
It becomes a little companion that I carry with me everywhere I go.
Reminding me of the things I've done wrong.
Of what a mess I am.
Of what a mess my life looks like most days.
Of all the ways I've made mistakes.
And of all the ways those mistakes will forever go with me.
This companion, it has a name.
This companion is called shame.
It's sneaky and tricky and comes camouflaged in all shapes and sizes.
It settles into the places in your inner-most being, the most tucked away places, the most hidden and repressed. The most insecure.
And it sits there.
And sits there.
And sits there.
Reminding you of why you aren't worthy.
And why you aren't deserving of good things.
And all of the things you've done wrong.
And so, you listen.
You believe.
You accept these as the truth.
Because it's what you hear and feel. So it becomes reality.
But, there's some good news.
Really, really, exceptionally, extraordinarily, astonishingly, stupendously good news.
When Jesus climbed the mountain
And hung on the Cross
And laid down his life for us
It meant no more sacrificing, no more striving, no more living in a place of pain, of sin, of shame.
When Jesus uttered the words "It is finished" it meant we could stop climbing that mountain of shame.
Shame is gone. That constant companion is forever vanished from our lives.
And in it's place is joy
and love
and peace
and excitement
and hope
and redemption
and healing
and freedom
and strength.
Shame is gone. Because of Jesus, shame will never have a place in our lives ever again.
My favorite Psalm says it best, "Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces." Psalm 34:5
So when the truth is hard to see, and I'm living from my rear-view mirror, I have to remember that I don't have to climb that mountain any more. It is finished. Jesus took the last trip up that mountain.
And because of that, I get to live from a place of such beauty. Such gratitude. Such love. Such joy.
I try to live life through the rear-view mirror.
I hold onto the past.
To the pain from the past.
I become comfortable with that pain.
It becomes a little companion that I carry with me everywhere I go.
Reminding me of the things I've done wrong.
Of what a mess I am.
Of what a mess my life looks like most days.
Of all the ways I've made mistakes.
And of all the ways those mistakes will forever go with me.
This companion, it has a name.
This companion is called shame.
It's sneaky and tricky and comes camouflaged in all shapes and sizes.
It settles into the places in your inner-most being, the most tucked away places, the most hidden and repressed. The most insecure.
And it sits there.
And sits there.
And sits there.
Reminding you of why you aren't worthy.
And why you aren't deserving of good things.
And all of the things you've done wrong.
And so, you listen.
You believe.
You accept these as the truth.
Because it's what you hear and feel. So it becomes reality.
But, there's some good news.
Really, really, exceptionally, extraordinarily, astonishingly, stupendously good news.
When Jesus climbed the mountain
And hung on the Cross
And laid down his life for us
It meant no more sacrificing, no more striving, no more living in a place of pain, of sin, of shame.
When Jesus uttered the words "It is finished" it meant we could stop climbing that mountain of shame.
Shame is gone. That constant companion is forever vanished from our lives.
And in it's place is joy
and love
and peace
and excitement
and hope
and redemption
and healing
and freedom
and strength.
Shame is gone. Because of Jesus, shame will never have a place in our lives ever again.
My favorite Psalm says it best, "Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces." Psalm 34:5
So when the truth is hard to see, and I'm living from my rear-view mirror, I have to remember that I don't have to climb that mountain any more. It is finished. Jesus took the last trip up that mountain.
And because of that, I get to live from a place of such beauty. Such gratitude. Such love. Such joy.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Brokenness.
Nate wrapped up our "Deep Shift" series this past Sunday with a great word about what being on mission really looks like, and how Jesus models that for us. He landed on a verse out of Luke 24 that really got me thinking... "As they sat down to eat, he took the bread and blessed it. Then he broke it and gave it to them. Suddenly, their eyes were opened, and they recognized him." Luke 24:30, 31
He took the bread
He blessed the bread
He broke the bread
He gave the bread away.
Jesus took it
He blessed it
He broke it
He gave it away.
Isn't that exactly what he does with us?
He takes us- maybe it's from a broken home or an awful situation or an apathetic attitude.
He blesses us- our lives change in a moment. We are no longer in that old place, but in a blessed place
He breaks us- he begins to work within our hearts, he places his finger on the things in our lives that need to break and allow HIS healing to become fixed, we become broken for the things that move us.
He gives us- he places us in the lives of others who need to see his goodness, who need be reminded of his unfailing, never-ending, all consuming love.
I love this parallel, and I think that many of us really get the first three steps of this. We allow Jesus to take us, to rescue us from the mess and trouble and pain that we're in. We allow him to bless us, to make us new, to fix our mess and trouble and pain. But then we get stuck. We get stuck in the brokenness. We get stuck in our OWN brokenness. Our lives are too broken. There's too much that needs to be fixed. God can't use US. No way. Nope. We are too broken.
OR
We get stuck in the way that God breaks our hearts.
We can't reach EVERY woman who is affected by sex trafficking, so we just don't try.
We can't help EVERY abused child, so we give up.
Our passions and burning hearts seem impossible to fulfill, so we just get stuck.
We seem to get stuck in our brokenness.
But, you see, there's a final step to this process.
Jesus TAKES the bread
He BLESSES it
He BREAKS it... and then... wait for it...
He gives it.
He gives it away.
Sometimes, we have to push through our brokenness to see that Jesus wants us to give our life, our stories, our victories, our passions, our desires, our dreams AWAY. He wants us to pour our lives out on others around us. When we get stuck in our brokenness, we can't reach others. We can't share our stories with others. We can't pour out our love and our passion on the ones around us who need it.
For a long time, I felt like my life was marked by brokenness.
And I couldn't figure out how in the world Jesus could use my broken life, my mess, my pain and suffering to help anybody else.
But, as I continued to push through my brokenness, I began to realize he was continuously bringing people into my life who needed to hear a little bit of my story. A little bit about the ways God showed up for me. A little bit about the freedom I'd found. And as I continued to share my life and my story and my brokenness with others, God began to heal me.
I love Psalm 34:18.
It says "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
He is close to us. Especially when our hearts are broken. Especially when we feel crushed. That's why we need to share out of a place of brokenness. Because he is especially close in those times of our lives.
Don't get stuck in your brokenness. Push through your brokenness. Allow God to take you, bless you, break you AND give you away.
He took the bread
He blessed the bread
He broke the bread
He gave the bread away.
Jesus took it
He blessed it
He broke it
He gave it away.
Isn't that exactly what he does with us?
He takes us- maybe it's from a broken home or an awful situation or an apathetic attitude.
He blesses us- our lives change in a moment. We are no longer in that old place, but in a blessed place
He breaks us- he begins to work within our hearts, he places his finger on the things in our lives that need to break and allow HIS healing to become fixed, we become broken for the things that move us.
He gives us- he places us in the lives of others who need to see his goodness, who need be reminded of his unfailing, never-ending, all consuming love.
I love this parallel, and I think that many of us really get the first three steps of this. We allow Jesus to take us, to rescue us from the mess and trouble and pain that we're in. We allow him to bless us, to make us new, to fix our mess and trouble and pain. But then we get stuck. We get stuck in the brokenness. We get stuck in our OWN brokenness. Our lives are too broken. There's too much that needs to be fixed. God can't use US. No way. Nope. We are too broken.
OR
We get stuck in the way that God breaks our hearts.
We can't reach EVERY woman who is affected by sex trafficking, so we just don't try.
We can't help EVERY abused child, so we give up.
Our passions and burning hearts seem impossible to fulfill, so we just get stuck.
We seem to get stuck in our brokenness.
But, you see, there's a final step to this process.
Jesus TAKES the bread
He BLESSES it
He BREAKS it... and then... wait for it...
He gives it.
He gives it away.
Sometimes, we have to push through our brokenness to see that Jesus wants us to give our life, our stories, our victories, our passions, our desires, our dreams AWAY. He wants us to pour our lives out on others around us. When we get stuck in our brokenness, we can't reach others. We can't share our stories with others. We can't pour out our love and our passion on the ones around us who need it.
For a long time, I felt like my life was marked by brokenness.
And I couldn't figure out how in the world Jesus could use my broken life, my mess, my pain and suffering to help anybody else.
But, as I continued to push through my brokenness, I began to realize he was continuously bringing people into my life who needed to hear a little bit of my story. A little bit about the ways God showed up for me. A little bit about the freedom I'd found. And as I continued to share my life and my story and my brokenness with others, God began to heal me.
I love Psalm 34:18.
It says "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
He is close to us. Especially when our hearts are broken. Especially when we feel crushed. That's why we need to share out of a place of brokenness. Because he is especially close in those times of our lives.
Don't get stuck in your brokenness. Push through your brokenness. Allow God to take you, bless you, break you AND give you away.
Monday, March 21, 2011
We Love: The story of the Jar.
Caitlin is 10 years old.
She greets me with a huge hug and a matching smile every Sunday morning.
She has the biggest, brightest, kindest, most compassionate heart.
Over the past few months, she's been working hard.
Washing cars, lemonade stands, collecting recycling, raking leaves, doing the dishes, and I can only imagine what else.
She's been working hard and saving her pennies.
Putting them in this jar.
On Sunday, she came running up to me (as usual) and handed me this glitter-covered jar. At first, I looked at it, thinking it was something her teachers had prompted her to bring to Sunday School. But after closer examination, I realized she was bringing her hard-earned money to contribute to our church-wide "We Love" offering that was happening that day at all three gatherings to help us raise money for our new space.
My heart melted.
Tears began to run down my cheeks. I was overwhelmed by the amount of sacrifice and generosity I was seeing from this 10 year old.
Nate said a number of times that it's not how much you bring, but how much it costs you.
This jar of change was everything to Caitlin.
It was all she had.
Do you remember being 10? A quarter was a big deal!
This jar was full of quarters.
This jar was a big deal.
I know that because of her ability to give up everything for God's glory, this little girl will live an incredibly blessed life. God will overwhelm her. I'm sure of it.
I realize to some, this jar doesn't look like much. Maybe $20 work of coins. But to this 10 year old, it was months and months of hard work and sacrifice.
What an example.
And the joy she had when she was giving it... We have a lot we can learn from 10 year olds like Caitlin.
She greets me with a huge hug and a matching smile every Sunday morning.
She has the biggest, brightest, kindest, most compassionate heart.
Over the past few months, she's been working hard.
Washing cars, lemonade stands, collecting recycling, raking leaves, doing the dishes, and I can only imagine what else.
She's been working hard and saving her pennies.
Putting them in this jar.
On Sunday, she came running up to me (as usual) and handed me this glitter-covered jar. At first, I looked at it, thinking it was something her teachers had prompted her to bring to Sunday School. But after closer examination, I realized she was bringing her hard-earned money to contribute to our church-wide "We Love" offering that was happening that day at all three gatherings to help us raise money for our new space.
My heart melted.
Tears began to run down my cheeks. I was overwhelmed by the amount of sacrifice and generosity I was seeing from this 10 year old.
Nate said a number of times that it's not how much you bring, but how much it costs you.
This jar of change was everything to Caitlin.
It was all she had.
Do you remember being 10? A quarter was a big deal!
This jar was full of quarters.
This jar was a big deal.
I know that because of her ability to give up everything for God's glory, this little girl will live an incredibly blessed life. God will overwhelm her. I'm sure of it.
I realize to some, this jar doesn't look like much. Maybe $20 work of coins. But to this 10 year old, it was months and months of hard work and sacrifice.
What an example.
And the joy she had when she was giving it... We have a lot we can learn from 10 year olds like Caitlin.
Friday, March 18, 2011
What's your "lunch"?
This post has been in the works for a long time. I've been sitting with these thoughts for a while. So here goes nothing...
On Sunday, Nate spoke about giving our lives to the things we're passionate about. He talked about how if you're willing to give your life to reach a generation, you WILL see that in your day. At the end of the evening, Nate talked about when Jesus fed the 5,000 people. It all started with a boy's lunch. Just a lunch. A simple lunch. A few loaves of bread. A few fish. That's all they had. But they gave EVERYTHING they had to Jesus, and saw thousands fed.
What's your "lunch"? What's the thing that you look at and say "But, it's ONLY a few loaves..."? For me, I really feel like the story of where I've been and what I've come through is my "lunch." I find myself constantly saying "But it's such a mess! It's still not all figured out. There's still pain and hurt and brokenness...." But the point that Nate made with this story of Jesus feeding the 5,000 was that if you offer up the things you have, great or small, to Jesus, he can use them to save lives.
He can use them to reach others who are
broken and
hurting and
lost.
He can use them to change a generation.
I promised myself that I would ALWAYS offer up my story to Jesus. For him to use. For him to display his goodness through my life. I would try to never say no. Because I just can't imagine leaving a conversation and wondering what my story could have done for someone else. Maybe they needed to hear that there really IS hope. That God really DOES rescue us. My story is a messy, painful, heartbreaking story. But it also is one of redemption and restoration. And THOSE are the things that I want to share. That's my "lunch". It's all I have. But I'll offer it up. Every time.
What's your "lunch"?
On Sunday, Nate spoke about giving our lives to the things we're passionate about. He talked about how if you're willing to give your life to reach a generation, you WILL see that in your day. At the end of the evening, Nate talked about when Jesus fed the 5,000 people. It all started with a boy's lunch. Just a lunch. A simple lunch. A few loaves of bread. A few fish. That's all they had. But they gave EVERYTHING they had to Jesus, and saw thousands fed.
What's your "lunch"? What's the thing that you look at and say "But, it's ONLY a few loaves..."? For me, I really feel like the story of where I've been and what I've come through is my "lunch." I find myself constantly saying "But it's such a mess! It's still not all figured out. There's still pain and hurt and brokenness...." But the point that Nate made with this story of Jesus feeding the 5,000 was that if you offer up the things you have, great or small, to Jesus, he can use them to save lives.
He can use them to reach others who are
broken and
hurting and
lost.
He can use them to change a generation.
I promised myself that I would ALWAYS offer up my story to Jesus. For him to use. For him to display his goodness through my life. I would try to never say no. Because I just can't imagine leaving a conversation and wondering what my story could have done for someone else. Maybe they needed to hear that there really IS hope. That God really DOES rescue us. My story is a messy, painful, heartbreaking story. But it also is one of redemption and restoration. And THOSE are the things that I want to share. That's my "lunch". It's all I have. But I'll offer it up. Every time.
What's your "lunch"?
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
What are the 'musts' in your life
On Sunday, Jim Botts brought a great word about being on mission. One thing he said really stuck with me. He came out of the passage in Luke 2 where Jesus' parents lose him at the temple. When they tell him they were worried, he replies with "Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?"
Being in his Father's house was a priority to him. It was a MUST to him.
Jim asked the question "What are the 'musts' in your life?"
What are the things you're giving your life away for?
What are the things that keep you up at night?
That you can't stop thinking about?
What are the things that are a priority to you?
What are the 'musts' in your life?
Immediately, the faces of hundreds of children came to my mind.
They are my 'musts.'
I will give my life away for them as long as I walk this earth.
No questions asked.
My heart beats for these children.
They are my priority.
To see them know God, and know his love for them.
To see them walk in that love.
To watch them learn and grow in God's never-failing, never-ending, all-consuming love.
That is what I'm giving my life away for.
Being about his Father's business was a must to Jesus. It was a priority to him.
What are the priorities in your life?
What are the 'musts' in your life?
Being in his Father's house was a priority to him. It was a MUST to him.
Jim asked the question "What are the 'musts' in your life?"
What are the things you're giving your life away for?
What are the things that keep you up at night?
That you can't stop thinking about?
What are the things that are a priority to you?
What are the 'musts' in your life?
Immediately, the faces of hundreds of children came to my mind.
They are my 'musts.'
I will give my life away for them as long as I walk this earth.
No questions asked.
My heart beats for these children.
They are my priority.
To see them know God, and know his love for them.
To see them walk in that love.
To watch them learn and grow in God's never-failing, never-ending, all-consuming love.
That is what I'm giving my life away for.
Being about his Father's business was a must to Jesus. It was a priority to him.
What are the priorities in your life?
What are the 'musts' in your life?
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Today is Sunday
Nate brought a great word today at the Stirring. He spoke on living a life on mission. There were so many powerful things that he shared, but the main thing I took away from the message today was this: God wants to show up
Wherever you are
Through you
Not someone else
Not somewhere else
Now
Through you
I didn't grow up in the church.
I stepped foot in a church for the first time at the age of 22.
Through a series of very powerful, very FAST events, I gave my life over to the Lord and started living a life passionately pursuing God.
I quickly became a leader, and often felt like I had NO clue what I was doing.
It was so easy for me to hear God speak to me, or see an opportunity to step out in boldness, but brush it off... "No way, God wouldn't use ME!!!" is what I would usually tell myself. "Somebody else, somewhere else. Not here. Not now. Not with me. It's ME. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not good enough or smart enough or know enough of the Bible for God to use ME!"
I remember living in that place for a long time.
And wasting too many opportunities because I was convinced God couldn't use a clueless, broken, scared, rookie-of-a-girl.
But here's the thing; God WANTS to use us. All of us. Right now. Exactly where we are. Exactly HOW we are. We don't have to be perfect or have it all together for him to use us.
We just have to be willing.
Jesus came saying the Kingdom of God is HERE. NOW!
It's not somewhere else in someone else.
It's here. Now. Living in all who believe.
Even the ones who are brand new.
Even the ones who are scared, and broken, and confused.
Yep. Even those ones.
Because, like Nate so powerfully said tonight, wherever you go, God is with you. And he wants to use you. To bring healing. To bring hope. To change lives. To bring the Kingdom.
Don't let another opportunity pass.
Wherever you are
Through you
Not someone else
Not somewhere else
Now
Through you
I didn't grow up in the church.
I stepped foot in a church for the first time at the age of 22.
Through a series of very powerful, very FAST events, I gave my life over to the Lord and started living a life passionately pursuing God.
I quickly became a leader, and often felt like I had NO clue what I was doing.
It was so easy for me to hear God speak to me, or see an opportunity to step out in boldness, but brush it off... "No way, God wouldn't use ME!!!" is what I would usually tell myself. "Somebody else, somewhere else. Not here. Not now. Not with me. It's ME. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not good enough or smart enough or know enough of the Bible for God to use ME!"
I remember living in that place for a long time.
And wasting too many opportunities because I was convinced God couldn't use a clueless, broken, scared, rookie-of-a-girl.
But here's the thing; God WANTS to use us. All of us. Right now. Exactly where we are. Exactly HOW we are. We don't have to be perfect or have it all together for him to use us.
We just have to be willing.
Jesus came saying the Kingdom of God is HERE. NOW!
It's not somewhere else in someone else.
It's here. Now. Living in all who believe.
Even the ones who are brand new.
Even the ones who are scared, and broken, and confused.
Yep. Even those ones.
Because, like Nate so powerfully said tonight, wherever you go, God is with you. And he wants to use you. To bring healing. To bring hope. To change lives. To bring the Kingdom.
Don't let another opportunity pass.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Mountains
We all have mountains in our lives.
Whether it's the loss of a loved one,
or divorce,
or our job,
or an addiction,
or the stress of parenthood,
or abuse,
or heartbreak,
or assault,
or a past relationship,
or forgiving someone who's wronged you...
We all have mountains in our lives.
I have this mountain in my life. One that I've been climbing for a while. One that I've stumbled, and fallen back down a few times. One that has, at times, seemed impossible. One that I thought I'd reached the top of... until recently. On Sunday, it felt like this mountain was reappearing before my very eyes. The impossibility of it seemed to be more real than ever. The thoughts running through my head:
-when will this stop?
-will I EVER get over this?
-what's wrong with me?
-why can't I figure it out?
-why can't I just get to the top?
I walked into the Sunday evening service at the Stirring feeling incredibly discouraged and defeated and frustrated and sad and disappointed.
My mountain was too big. Too steep. Too dangerous. Too impossible. Too high. Too much.
The opening lyrics to one of my favorite worship songs goes like this:
"Higher than the mountains that I face, stronger than the power of the grave, constant through the trial and the change, one thing remains..."
It wasn't until the worship team began to play this song that I realized my God is bigger. He's bigger than the BIGGEST mountain that I could ever face. His love is bigger. His strength is bigger. His wisdom is bigger. His power is bigger. It doesn't matter what I face, what my mountain looks like, how long I struggle with this mountain, how huge it seems to me, how many times it reappears, God will always be bigger, and he will never give up on me. He won't ever give up. He won't ever leave my side. My God will see me to the top of my mountain. Every time. Every mountain that I face, he will see me to the top.
The song goes on to say that "his love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me..."
That's one promise I'll hold tightly to tonight. Remembering that no mountain is too great for my God, and that his love NEVER fails me. His love NEVER leaves me. His love will see me to the top of every mountain.
We all have mountains in our lives.
But, the only way to get to the top is to take one step at a time. And trust that God is with you. Every step. He will see you to the top.
Whether it's the loss of a loved one,
or divorce,
or our job,
or an addiction,
or the stress of parenthood,
or abuse,
or heartbreak,
or assault,
or a past relationship,
or forgiving someone who's wronged you...
We all have mountains in our lives.
I have this mountain in my life. One that I've been climbing for a while. One that I've stumbled, and fallen back down a few times. One that has, at times, seemed impossible. One that I thought I'd reached the top of... until recently. On Sunday, it felt like this mountain was reappearing before my very eyes. The impossibility of it seemed to be more real than ever. The thoughts running through my head:
-when will this stop?
-will I EVER get over this?
-what's wrong with me?
-why can't I figure it out?
-why can't I just get to the top?
I walked into the Sunday evening service at the Stirring feeling incredibly discouraged and defeated and frustrated and sad and disappointed.
My mountain was too big. Too steep. Too dangerous. Too impossible. Too high. Too much.
The opening lyrics to one of my favorite worship songs goes like this:
"Higher than the mountains that I face, stronger than the power of the grave, constant through the trial and the change, one thing remains..."
It wasn't until the worship team began to play this song that I realized my God is bigger. He's bigger than the BIGGEST mountain that I could ever face. His love is bigger. His strength is bigger. His wisdom is bigger. His power is bigger. It doesn't matter what I face, what my mountain looks like, how long I struggle with this mountain, how huge it seems to me, how many times it reappears, God will always be bigger, and he will never give up on me. He won't ever give up. He won't ever leave my side. My God will see me to the top of my mountain. Every time. Every mountain that I face, he will see me to the top.
The song goes on to say that "his love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me..."
That's one promise I'll hold tightly to tonight. Remembering that no mountain is too great for my God, and that his love NEVER fails me. His love NEVER leaves me. His love will see me to the top of every mountain.
We all have mountains in our lives.
But, the only way to get to the top is to take one step at a time. And trust that God is with you. Every step. He will see you to the top.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
God > Darkness
Ever have one of those days? The kind of day where you are suddenly struck with the growth and change that's taken place in your life and in your heart?
The kind of day where you look back and realize that the painful, dark, impossible, awful season you were in has finally given way to a new, joyful, beautiful one?
I had that day today.
Dan spoke at the Stirring today, and had an amazing word about traveling alone.
He framed it all around an experience he had while running during the wee hours of the morning.
Alone.
In the pitch black.
He talked about the importance of friends when running in the dark. About how friends bring clarity and courage, because in the dark you can start to believe some crazy things.
They remind you of the reality of the situation.
This won't go on forever.
You can get through this.
It's going to get better soon.
This is just a season.
Keep going.
Be strong, don't give up.
Because it's easy to forget what you know, what the truth is, in the dark. Friends remind you.
Another point Dan made was that when you're in a dark season, you need community. You need your Church family. You need people around you who can attest to God's goodness. Who can remind you that they were RIGHT THERE at one point. They were where you're at, but now they're not. God will show up, he will heal. He will restore. He will fulfill his promises. He hasn't forgotten. You need community, you need to hear the stories of people who have been there.
I especially love the picture that was painted about the rooster... how roosters bring hope that dawn is near... light is near. The darkness is coming to an end. This time WILL end. We all need roosters in our lives. People who are constantly reminding us that this painful, heart-wrenching, agonizing, dark, lonely season WILL come to an end. That light is coming. Jesus is coming. He will free us. He will heal us. He will restore the hurting.
I look back on the past year of my life, and realize it was an incredibly dark, painful, agonizing, impossible season.
I faced some hard stuff. Stuff that might take me a while to share. Stuff that lived for YEARS hidden and buried, not talked about, not thought about, untouched, forgotten. Stuff that, as it began to surface, and as I began to feel it and grieve it, God began to heal it.
I can't sit here and tell you it was a quick, pretty, relatively pain-free experience.
It was not.
It was messy, and hard, and not very fun, and agonizing at times.
There were a lot of tears.
There were days where I was just sure I couldn't go on.
I couldn't feel the way I felt for one more second.
I couldn't face the things I was facing one more time.
But I did.
And God showed up.
But, I have to be honest, I could have never done it alone.
In my darkest season, I had friends around me. Friends who I was going there with. Friends who knew where I was at, and were walking (or, RUNNING) with me.
In my darkest season, I was fully submerged in community. I was there. Every week. At Life Group. At work. At church. In community. I wanted to isolate. I wanted to run! I wanted to get the heck out, but I didn't.
In my darkest season, I had roosters all around me. So many. One in particular was a VERY loud rooster... Every Friday, I would sit on Alyssa's couch and she would remind me "You can do this. Don't give up. It won't be this bad forever. It's just a season. It's just a process. There is hope. God will restore. He will show up. He will heal. It won't be like this forever." When I left that couch, there was a confidence that hope was near. Something in my soul knew that light was coming. Even though it felt impossible. Even though I didn't want to face another day. Even though my heart was broken and my pain was overwhelming, there was hope. Morning was coming.
I look back on the past year, and realize my morning has come. The darkness has lifted. Light has filled my life. That impossible feeling is gone. There is healing. There is restoration. There is joy.
And more than ANY of that, there is a reason I went through it.
Dan's last point tonight was this: People with experience are important when you're in the dark. You need to find people who have been there before. Who have traveled that road. Who have been through some of what you've been through. Because they bring a different insight. They bring different perspective. They KNOW that road better than others.
I hope that, some day, God will use my story to help me journey with others. Other women who are experiencing the same pain and suffering that I have experienced. Women who feel like they can't go on. Like there is no hope. I know that I went through that awful, painful, miserable, dark season so that I would know the road. And be the rooster for someone else.
What I love is that, even though there was so much hardship, there is tremendous victory in my story.
God rescued
and redeemed
and set free
and healed
and saved
and restored in my story.
This verse is quickly becoming one of my favorites because it speaks of the HOPE we can have in God, and his great desire to free us from the darkness...
"Nevertheless, that time of darkness and despair will not go on forever...The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine." Isaiah 9:1-2
The kind of day where you look back and realize that the painful, dark, impossible, awful season you were in has finally given way to a new, joyful, beautiful one?
I had that day today.
Dan spoke at the Stirring today, and had an amazing word about traveling alone.
He framed it all around an experience he had while running during the wee hours of the morning.
Alone.
In the pitch black.
He talked about the importance of friends when running in the dark. About how friends bring clarity and courage, because in the dark you can start to believe some crazy things.
They remind you of the reality of the situation.
This won't go on forever.
You can get through this.
It's going to get better soon.
This is just a season.
Keep going.
Be strong, don't give up.
Because it's easy to forget what you know, what the truth is, in the dark. Friends remind you.
Another point Dan made was that when you're in a dark season, you need community. You need your Church family. You need people around you who can attest to God's goodness. Who can remind you that they were RIGHT THERE at one point. They were where you're at, but now they're not. God will show up, he will heal. He will restore. He will fulfill his promises. He hasn't forgotten. You need community, you need to hear the stories of people who have been there.
I especially love the picture that was painted about the rooster... how roosters bring hope that dawn is near... light is near. The darkness is coming to an end. This time WILL end. We all need roosters in our lives. People who are constantly reminding us that this painful, heart-wrenching, agonizing, dark, lonely season WILL come to an end. That light is coming. Jesus is coming. He will free us. He will heal us. He will restore the hurting.
I look back on the past year of my life, and realize it was an incredibly dark, painful, agonizing, impossible season.
I faced some hard stuff. Stuff that might take me a while to share. Stuff that lived for YEARS hidden and buried, not talked about, not thought about, untouched, forgotten. Stuff that, as it began to surface, and as I began to feel it and grieve it, God began to heal it.
I can't sit here and tell you it was a quick, pretty, relatively pain-free experience.
It was not.
It was messy, and hard, and not very fun, and agonizing at times.
There were a lot of tears.
There were days where I was just sure I couldn't go on.
I couldn't feel the way I felt for one more second.
I couldn't face the things I was facing one more time.
But I did.
And God showed up.
But, I have to be honest, I could have never done it alone.
In my darkest season, I had friends around me. Friends who I was going there with. Friends who knew where I was at, and were walking (or, RUNNING) with me.
In my darkest season, I was fully submerged in community. I was there. Every week. At Life Group. At work. At church. In community. I wanted to isolate. I wanted to run! I wanted to get the heck out, but I didn't.
In my darkest season, I had roosters all around me. So many. One in particular was a VERY loud rooster... Every Friday, I would sit on Alyssa's couch and she would remind me "You can do this. Don't give up. It won't be this bad forever. It's just a season. It's just a process. There is hope. God will restore. He will show up. He will heal. It won't be like this forever." When I left that couch, there was a confidence that hope was near. Something in my soul knew that light was coming. Even though it felt impossible. Even though I didn't want to face another day. Even though my heart was broken and my pain was overwhelming, there was hope. Morning was coming.
I look back on the past year, and realize my morning has come. The darkness has lifted. Light has filled my life. That impossible feeling is gone. There is healing. There is restoration. There is joy.
And more than ANY of that, there is a reason I went through it.
Dan's last point tonight was this: People with experience are important when you're in the dark. You need to find people who have been there before. Who have traveled that road. Who have been through some of what you've been through. Because they bring a different insight. They bring different perspective. They KNOW that road better than others.
I hope that, some day, God will use my story to help me journey with others. Other women who are experiencing the same pain and suffering that I have experienced. Women who feel like they can't go on. Like there is no hope. I know that I went through that awful, painful, miserable, dark season so that I would know the road. And be the rooster for someone else.
What I love is that, even though there was so much hardship, there is tremendous victory in my story.
God rescued
and redeemed
and set free
and healed
and saved
and restored in my story.
This verse is quickly becoming one of my favorites because it speaks of the HOPE we can have in God, and his great desire to free us from the darkness...
"Nevertheless, that time of darkness and despair will not go on forever...The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine." Isaiah 9:1-2
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Day 4
I've said it before and I'll say it again; I love Sundays.
Sure, it's a long day.
Sure, there's a lot that goes into it from start to finish.
Sure, there are bumps along the way.
Sure, I need a quad-shot americano to help me function.
But every Sunday, I'm reminded of why I do what I do.
I get to see kids come alive.
I get to watch them learn about their place in this family.
I get to experience God revealing Himself to these little ones.
I get to encourage other leaders of the calling on their lives.
Yeah, it would be nice to sleep in.
Yeah, I'd love to have another day to check things off of my "to-do" list.
But I couldn't imagine my week without the moments I have on Sundays.
Like the mom who told me this morning that her two daughters were up at 5 AM pulling her out of bed, asking if it was time to go to church. Five. Oclock. In. The. Morning.
That's really early.
Or like the mom who told me that her 3 year old told her, while walking the beaches of Costa Rica, that she wished they could go to the Stirring in Costa Rica. They are strolling along amazingly beautiful, sandy beaches, and she's thinking about the Stirring Kids. Amazing.
Or the dad who told me that his son NEVER goes ANYWHERE without a kicking-and-screaming-and-clinging-to-his-shirt match. Except the Stirring. The look of pure joy and victory on this dad's face was enough to make me cry. (Doesn't take much, but STILL!)
Or the mom who asked me how to start a conversation with her daughter about Baptism, because the mom can see how much God is working in her daughter's life. This all coming from a mom who just met Jesus herself. And already, she can recognize the transformation in her daughter. Wow.
Or the little boy who gazed up at me with big, brown eyes and declared "Jesus lives in my heart. Forever. Did you know that? I can't wait to tell my daddy! He doesn't know Jesus yet, but he will. Because I pray for him, and so did my teacher this morning!"
Or walking with a leader who has more favor and anointing on her life than she knows, and who just pours her passion for Jesus out during the 2 hours with her class.
Or the OTHER teacher who is changing the lives of the hard-to-reach students in her class by talking to them like they MATTER, and by showing them the love and compassion of Christ.
THESE are the moments that remind me that ever early wake up, every sacrifice, every frustrating moment, every ounce of stress, every single moment of work is worth it all. Just to hear and see these stories. Just to help shape a generation to have confidence in their relationship with Jesus, and to show them the love God has for them. Just to call out the potential in a young leader who I believe has a calling on her life to change the lives of kids around the world. It's all worth it. Just to see lives changed.
My biggest prayer is for my passion to bring God fame. He's the one who has placed this passion in me. This is merely his love and desire and passion for his children living in my heart. May God get all the glory.
Today, my heart is full.
Today, my passion burns.
Today, I am thankful.
Here's a great shot of two of the littlest Stirring Kids.
Sure, it's a long day.
Sure, there's a lot that goes into it from start to finish.
Sure, there are bumps along the way.
Sure, I need a quad-shot americano to help me function.
But every Sunday, I'm reminded of why I do what I do.
I get to see kids come alive.
I get to watch them learn about their place in this family.
I get to experience God revealing Himself to these little ones.
I get to encourage other leaders of the calling on their lives.
Yeah, it would be nice to sleep in.
Yeah, I'd love to have another day to check things off of my "to-do" list.
But I couldn't imagine my week without the moments I have on Sundays.
Like the mom who told me this morning that her two daughters were up at 5 AM pulling her out of bed, asking if it was time to go to church. Five. Oclock. In. The. Morning.
That's really early.
Or like the mom who told me that her 3 year old told her, while walking the beaches of Costa Rica, that she wished they could go to the Stirring in Costa Rica. They are strolling along amazingly beautiful, sandy beaches, and she's thinking about the Stirring Kids. Amazing.
Or the dad who told me that his son NEVER goes ANYWHERE without a kicking-and-screaming-and-clinging-to-his-shirt match. Except the Stirring. The look of pure joy and victory on this dad's face was enough to make me cry. (Doesn't take much, but STILL!)
Or the mom who asked me how to start a conversation with her daughter about Baptism, because the mom can see how much God is working in her daughter's life. This all coming from a mom who just met Jesus herself. And already, she can recognize the transformation in her daughter. Wow.
Or the little boy who gazed up at me with big, brown eyes and declared "Jesus lives in my heart. Forever. Did you know that? I can't wait to tell my daddy! He doesn't know Jesus yet, but he will. Because I pray for him, and so did my teacher this morning!"
Or walking with a leader who has more favor and anointing on her life than she knows, and who just pours her passion for Jesus out during the 2 hours with her class.
Or the OTHER teacher who is changing the lives of the hard-to-reach students in her class by talking to them like they MATTER, and by showing them the love and compassion of Christ.
THESE are the moments that remind me that ever early wake up, every sacrifice, every frustrating moment, every ounce of stress, every single moment of work is worth it all. Just to hear and see these stories. Just to help shape a generation to have confidence in their relationship with Jesus, and to show them the love God has for them. Just to call out the potential in a young leader who I believe has a calling on her life to change the lives of kids around the world. It's all worth it. Just to see lives changed.
My biggest prayer is for my passion to bring God fame. He's the one who has placed this passion in me. This is merely his love and desire and passion for his children living in my heart. May God get all the glory.
Today, my heart is full.
Today, my passion burns.
Today, I am thankful.
Here's a great shot of two of the littlest Stirring Kids.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
My Life Is...
Beautiful
Wonderful
Full of joy
Full of love
Hard to handle
Exciting
Healthy
Peaceful
Always an adventure
Ever-changing
A testimony to God's faithfulness
Full of FUN
Better than ever
Full of laughter
Challenging
Dynamite
This past Sunday marked the 4 year anniversary for the Stirring. What a remarkable day. During worship, a video came on that was a montage of the past year. All of the most intimate moments captured on tape. Footage of lives changed. It had me in tears within seconds. There's something so powerful about a changed life. You can't help but celebrate. I always seem to celebrate with tears. No big deal. But it got me thinking... My life is full- full of love. Full of joy. Full of laughter. Full of incredible people. Full of opportunities. Full of God's goodness. Full of gratitude. Full of PASSION. Full of happiness. Full of celebration. Full of encouragement. Full of forgiveness. I can't remember a time in my life where I felt this alive. This content. This thankful. I can't wait to see where God will take the Stirring in this next year, and I am excited to say I'm along for the ride. God has placed some hard stuff on my path over this past year, but I've come out victorious. With freedom and peace. I'm so thankful for the hard seasons, because without them the great seasons, THIS season I'm in now, wouldn't hold the same amount of excitement, the same amount of joy and celebration as it does. Without the pain, there is no growth.
My life is EXACTLY where God wants it. What a beautiful thing.
P.S. The Stirring staff made an AMAZING music video. If you haven't seen it, OR just need to watch it one more time, check it out HERE.
Wonderful
Full of joy
Full of love
Hard to handle
Exciting
Healthy
Peaceful
Always an adventure
Ever-changing
A testimony to God's faithfulness
Full of FUN
Better than ever
Full of laughter
Challenging
Dynamite
This past Sunday marked the 4 year anniversary for the Stirring. What a remarkable day. During worship, a video came on that was a montage of the past year. All of the most intimate moments captured on tape. Footage of lives changed. It had me in tears within seconds. There's something so powerful about a changed life. You can't help but celebrate. I always seem to celebrate with tears. No big deal. But it got me thinking... My life is full- full of love. Full of joy. Full of laughter. Full of incredible people. Full of opportunities. Full of God's goodness. Full of gratitude. Full of PASSION. Full of happiness. Full of celebration. Full of encouragement. Full of forgiveness. I can't remember a time in my life where I felt this alive. This content. This thankful. I can't wait to see where God will take the Stirring in this next year, and I am excited to say I'm along for the ride. God has placed some hard stuff on my path over this past year, but I've come out victorious. With freedom and peace. I'm so thankful for the hard seasons, because without them the great seasons, THIS season I'm in now, wouldn't hold the same amount of excitement, the same amount of joy and celebration as it does. Without the pain, there is no growth.
My life is EXACTLY where God wants it. What a beautiful thing.
P.S. The Stirring staff made an AMAZING music video. If you haven't seen it, OR just need to watch it one more time, check it out HERE.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
12.5.10
Today was a whirl-wind of business!
Up at 5:30
At the church at 7:15
Set up
Team shows up (well, the part of the team that wasn't ill!)
Kids Meeting
Prep classrooms
Kids show up
Christmas song practice
Christmas craft picture-taking
Parents up up kids
Repeat the last 7 steps for the 11:00 service
Tear down
Lock up
Lunch at Chipotle
Home
Store
Church
Bake scones (yum!)
Talk w/ Roomies
And here I am. Sitting in bed. Blogging away.
PHEW, Sunday's are a BUSY day!
Tonight, Nate spoke out of Luke 1. The part of the story where the angle shows up to Mary and tells her that she's going to give birth to the son of God. And Mary says yes. Nate really landed on the fact that Mary was a young, YOUNG lady from a no-where town. But God chose her. And she said yes. The part of Nate's message that really struck me was that when God chooses us, He knows what he's doing. He knows that we can get through the extremely hard, discouraging times, because WE didn't choose us, HE chose us. And when he chooses us, he sees something in us that we can't see. He knows the men and women we're becoming, so we have to trust him. Trust that when he chooses us, and we say yes, that he really knows what he's doing. Am I making any sense? This was such a profound and pertinent realization for me tonight.
I want to elaborate, but I'm exhausted, and my brain seems to be shutting down. I'll leave you with this, because it's something I've been meditating on all week:
"For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right." Psalm 84:11
Up at 5:30
At the church at 7:15
Set up
Team shows up (well, the part of the team that wasn't ill!)
Kids Meeting
Prep classrooms
Kids show up
Christmas song practice
Christmas craft picture-taking
Parents up up kids
Repeat the last 7 steps for the 11:00 service
Tear down
Lock up
Lunch at Chipotle
Home
Store
Church
Bake scones (yum!)
Talk w/ Roomies
And here I am. Sitting in bed. Blogging away.
PHEW, Sunday's are a BUSY day!
Tonight, Nate spoke out of Luke 1. The part of the story where the angle shows up to Mary and tells her that she's going to give birth to the son of God. And Mary says yes. Nate really landed on the fact that Mary was a young, YOUNG lady from a no-where town. But God chose her. And she said yes. The part of Nate's message that really struck me was that when God chooses us, He knows what he's doing. He knows that we can get through the extremely hard, discouraging times, because WE didn't choose us, HE chose us. And when he chooses us, he sees something in us that we can't see. He knows the men and women we're becoming, so we have to trust him. Trust that when he chooses us, and we say yes, that he really knows what he's doing. Am I making any sense? This was such a profound and pertinent realization for me tonight.
I want to elaborate, but I'm exhausted, and my brain seems to be shutting down. I'll leave you with this, because it's something I've been meditating on all week:
"For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right." Psalm 84:11
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Speak...
We talked on Sunday night at the Stirring about the least. Dan seriously threw down. No joke, that man has a heart for the least. I'm not sure about all of you out there in blog world, but the least can look very different for every person. When hearing that phrase, "the least" I think some see a homeless man, some see battered and bruised women, some see the addicts, and some see themselves. When I hear that phrase, I see children. Most of you know of my heart for children. I'm working my tail off right now to get my teaching credential so that I can make a difference in the lives of children for years to come (hopefully!). On any given Sunday night, you can find me hanging out with the kids, and I couldn't be happier. So I guess it makes sense that when I think of the least, I think of children. That's why I think it touches me so much to hear about Dan and Alyssa's story of the adoption of their two beautiful children Zeke and Sofia. I cry every time I hear this story. It touches my heart so much, and I am overwhelmed by the passion God has given me for these over looked and voiceless children. Monday night, some women at the Stirring put on an amazing night of worship geared toward the women serving at the Stirring. The entire time I'm on my knees worshiping God, and the faces of these children are burning in my mind. I find myself thinking about them all day. I lose myself in the dreams that I have for them. But where do I start? How do I go about changing the lives of these neglected children? I am continuously asking God this question, and tonight He told me to speak. That was it, that's all He gave me. Speak. So, against my better judgment, this blog is my first lame attempt at speaking. I'm not sure where it will get me, and I'm not sure if this is even what God wants, but I've got to start somewhere, right?
Monday, September 15, 2008
A bit about Emily-2-years-ago.
It's crazy, sometimes, to look back and realize just how far you've come. Many of you didn't know me two years ago, but if you did, you can attest to just how different I've become. It was only two years ago that I came to know Jesus. I was a 21 year old just living the day-to-day, not really sure why I was put on this out of control planet. I had been in a series of unsuccessful and semi-abusive relationships, lived with a number of discouraging and bitter roommates, and lived a rather self-destructive lifestyle. That all changed the day I went to my first Life Group. I still remember so many details... it was a Tuesday night, and I had just gotten out of my math class out at the college. Kristena Hayes literally dragged me to Meghan Edwardson's women's group, where I encountered God for the first time in my entire life. That night, I revealed secrets to complete strangers that I had never even admitted to my closest friends. I was blown away by the amount of love and support these women gave me, especially because I had JUST MET THEM! That night I struggled to forgive myself for the all of the bad decisions I had made, and began to find freedom from the bondage that had once tied me down. The Tuesday nights to follow were full of tears, laughter, some more tears, forgiveness, even MORE tears, and lots of love. The change wasn't overnight, but it wasn't until last night at the Stirring that I really saw for the first time just how far I've come. We talked about loving each other, and about how important forgiveness really is. Being able to love your enemies, and pray for the ones who have hurt you the most. Now, you see, the Emily-2-years-ago would have been weeping through the entire service. That Emily would have been struggling to forgive herself still, trying to come face-to-face with the consequences of her various poor decisions. The Emily-2-years-ago would have been finally stepping out of a very dark place, into the light... she would have been totally rocked by the idea of forgiveness. But last night, I realized that I've finally forgiven myself. God has always forgiven me, but I have finally forgiven MYSELF. There is really no better feeling in the world. I was able to pray for other women last night, who were dealing with the same things Emily-2-years-ago was dealing with. I was able to speak words of truth into them, and encourage them to break free of those lies. Last night, I was able to look back, and really appreciate how for God's taken me in the last two years. Some days I still struggle with the lies I once whole heatedly believed, but Emily-2-years-ago is gone. In her place stands a confident, loving, encouraging, free Emily. I don't even recognize that old Emily... she really has no place in this New life.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
We Love...!
We love. from the Stirring on Vimeo.
This video will seriously change your life. It is part of the latest conversation we're having on Sunday nights at the Stirring. Awesome work Nate.
Monday, September 8, 2008
What the heck??
First of all, last night at the Stirring was INSANE. No joke, wall-to-wall seating. There was hardly any walking room... Secondly, I'm blown away by the amount of young men and women in this town who want to show love to the Stirring Kids. The Stirring Kids sign-up sheet was full. People were seriously lined up to add their name to the list. I wanted to hug each and every one of the people who came to the table... that might have gotten a little weird tho. Maybe next week. But seriously, this has got to be some sort of a record... I'm baffled, speechless, and SO EXCITED!
Monday, August 18, 2008
scattered thoughts
I realize I have so much to blog about, but can't quite figure out how to mold all of it together. There's lots going on right now... we dropped off backpacks to Cypress Elementary School today. I was just overwhelmed by all of the smiles. The teachers were blown away by our generosity. God is so good. I can't wait to see where God takes our relationship with this school. Some of the kids there literally have nothing... I think this is so exciting for me because this is truly my passion in life. I adore children, and I love building relationships with them. Their minds are so simple and pure... I think this day makes my top ten best ever.... just seeing all of those smiles... it was great!
Another thing that is on my "blogging to-do" list is my big move... I'm moving from my one bedroom shoe-box-of-an-apartment to Emily and Brett Faulknor's lovely and amazing house. Two other girls and I will be renting the Faulknor's house while they are living in San Diego. God totally hooked us up with this house. It's perfect, and it totally just fell in my lap. THANK YOU FAULKNOR'S!!! So, obviously I'm stoked to move, but it's just super hard for me to get anything done because I'm only allowed to lift/carry 5 pounds due to my back surgery two weeks ago. I know I have people ready, willing and able to help me move, I'm still struggling with the whole asking for help bit. I want the help, and need the help, but I just don't want to be an inconvenience to anybody. So, at this point, about half of my house is packed up (thank you Danielle and Sarah!) but it's totally stressing me out because my house is in a complete state of disarray.
On a lighter note, I have to give a huge shout out to Cassie Cable. She's amazing. Seriously. Last night, she sat at a table covered in glitter, glue sticks, construction paper, stickers, foam letters, fancy shape puncher things, markers, colored pencils, and craft supplies galore and helped the Stirring Kids and the J.R. High team decorate 250 beautiful cards to put in each backpack for Cypress Elementary School. Cassie came up with this idea, and she totally made it happen. We were able to deliver a bundle of amazing cards to each teacher to give to each student. This was such a creative way for the kids at the Stirring to show Gods love to these other children. We were all wishing somebody had brought a camera to capture this crazy event. Also, a huge thanks to the Stirring Kids team who cleaned up all of the aftermath of this creative disaster. I think more glitter ended up on the floor than on the actual cards... go figure!
One last thing... I realize this blog is quickly becoming too long... sorry. Today I've decided to take a much needed break from television and music... after hearing Sean Gafner speak last night about really getting face to face with God, and getting in the silence to hear His voice, I realized I am constantly surrounded by noise. Whether it's from the television, my iPod, the radio, my friend, my phone... it's all around me all of the time. I need some silence to hear His voice.... and to really get close to Him. Sometimes silence is difficult because you aren't sure what God will reveal to you in those quiet moments, but taking the time and listening to his voice is something I know I really need to do.
Ok, that's all for now. I'll leave you with a picture of my disaster of an apartment... ugg, maybe I'll just walk around with my eyes closed for the next two weeks... could get dangerous!
Another thing that is on my "blogging to-do" list is my big move... I'm moving from my one bedroom shoe-box-of-an-apartment to Emily and Brett Faulknor's lovely and amazing house. Two other girls and I will be renting the Faulknor's house while they are living in San Diego. God totally hooked us up with this house. It's perfect, and it totally just fell in my lap. THANK YOU FAULKNOR'S!!! So, obviously I'm stoked to move, but it's just super hard for me to get anything done because I'm only allowed to lift/carry 5 pounds due to my back surgery two weeks ago. I know I have people ready, willing and able to help me move, I'm still struggling with the whole asking for help bit. I want the help, and need the help, but I just don't want to be an inconvenience to anybody. So, at this point, about half of my house is packed up (thank you Danielle and Sarah!) but it's totally stressing me out because my house is in a complete state of disarray.
On a lighter note, I have to give a huge shout out to Cassie Cable. She's amazing. Seriously. Last night, she sat at a table covered in glitter, glue sticks, construction paper, stickers, foam letters, fancy shape puncher things, markers, colored pencils, and craft supplies galore and helped the Stirring Kids and the J.R. High team decorate 250 beautiful cards to put in each backpack for Cypress Elementary School. Cassie came up with this idea, and she totally made it happen. We were able to deliver a bundle of amazing cards to each teacher to give to each student. This was such a creative way for the kids at the Stirring to show Gods love to these other children. We were all wishing somebody had brought a camera to capture this crazy event. Also, a huge thanks to the Stirring Kids team who cleaned up all of the aftermath of this creative disaster. I think more glitter ended up on the floor than on the actual cards... go figure!
One last thing... I realize this blog is quickly becoming too long... sorry. Today I've decided to take a much needed break from television and music... after hearing Sean Gafner speak last night about really getting face to face with God, and getting in the silence to hear His voice, I realized I am constantly surrounded by noise. Whether it's from the television, my iPod, the radio, my friend, my phone... it's all around me all of the time. I need some silence to hear His voice.... and to really get close to Him. Sometimes silence is difficult because you aren't sure what God will reveal to you in those quiet moments, but taking the time and listening to his voice is something I know I really need to do.
Ok, that's all for now. I'll leave you with a picture of my disaster of an apartment... ugg, maybe I'll just walk around with my eyes closed for the next two weeks... could get dangerous!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
More to come...
Why do we judge other people? Why do we sum up people by the way they look, the car they drive, the town they grew up in, the church they go to, the neighbor hood they live in? Why? Judgment is such a contagious thing, isn't it? I mean, you're around people who are pretty judgmental, and you find yourself judging others in the exact same way. I'm guilty of this. I think most of us are. After listening to Dan's message on Sunday night, I have decided to ask God for fresh eyes. I need to see people they way that Jesus sees them. Ephesians lays it down pretty simply for us, we were dead in our sin, but by the grace of God we were saved. ALL OF US. God saved all of us. Not just the ones who have blue eyes. Not just the ones who went to Foothill High School. Not just the ones who go to Little Country Church. God saved all of us. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- and by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:8-9.
It is more important to remember that we were all created in God's image, so we should see that in each other first, before anything else.
It is more important to remember that we were all created in God's image, so we should see that in each other first, before anything else.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Just one of those days...
Uggg. I had a bad day today. Not horrible, or awful, or terrible, or horrendous. Just bad. It was one of those days that you just want to end. You want it to be over so that, in the morning, you can start over. Fresh. Forgetting yesterday, and all the drama and baggage that went along with it. I really feel Christ shaking some things up in my life right now, and I don't know if I like it. I like being stable. I like being happy and consistent. I like keeping my past behind me, and not having to deal with the hard times that I'm finally starting to forget. I'm not that girl anymore... It seems like with this little talk of family we've begun at the Stirring, some of my past is being drug back into sight. It's hard to deal with. It's hard to face again. I really don't like it.
"No guilt in life, no fear in death. This is the power of Christ in me."
I've been listening to this song on repeat for hours. I love it. It's helping my bad day. You know what else would help my bad day? A good joke. Does anybody know any good jokes?? I love a good joke...
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