Nate brought a great word today at the Stirring. He spoke on living a life on mission. There were so many powerful things that he shared, but the main thing I took away from the message today was this: God wants to show up
Wherever you are
Through you
Not someone else
Not somewhere else
Now
Through you
I didn't grow up in the church.
I stepped foot in a church for the first time at the age of 22.
Through a series of very powerful, very FAST events, I gave my life over to the Lord and started living a life passionately pursuing God.
I quickly became a leader, and often felt like I had NO clue what I was doing.
It was so easy for me to hear God speak to me, or see an opportunity to step out in boldness, but brush it off... "No way, God wouldn't use ME!!!" is what I would usually tell myself. "Somebody else, somewhere else. Not here. Not now. Not with me. It's ME. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not good enough or smart enough or know enough of the Bible for God to use ME!"
I remember living in that place for a long time.
And wasting too many opportunities because I was convinced God couldn't use a clueless, broken, scared, rookie-of-a-girl.
But here's the thing; God WANTS to use us. All of us. Right now. Exactly where we are. Exactly HOW we are. We don't have to be perfect or have it all together for him to use us.
We just have to be willing.
Jesus came saying the Kingdom of God is HERE. NOW!
It's not somewhere else in someone else.
It's here. Now. Living in all who believe.
Even the ones who are brand new.
Even the ones who are scared, and broken, and confused.
Yep. Even those ones.
Because, like Nate so powerfully said tonight, wherever you go, God is with you. And he wants to use you. To bring healing. To bring hope. To change lives. To bring the Kingdom.
Don't let another opportunity pass.
Showing posts with label sunday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sunday. Show all posts
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
God > Darkness
Ever have one of those days? The kind of day where you are suddenly struck with the growth and change that's taken place in your life and in your heart?
The kind of day where you look back and realize that the painful, dark, impossible, awful season you were in has finally given way to a new, joyful, beautiful one?
I had that day today.
Dan spoke at the Stirring today, and had an amazing word about traveling alone.
He framed it all around an experience he had while running during the wee hours of the morning.
Alone.
In the pitch black.
He talked about the importance of friends when running in the dark. About how friends bring clarity and courage, because in the dark you can start to believe some crazy things.
They remind you of the reality of the situation.
This won't go on forever.
You can get through this.
It's going to get better soon.
This is just a season.
Keep going.
Be strong, don't give up.
Because it's easy to forget what you know, what the truth is, in the dark. Friends remind you.
Another point Dan made was that when you're in a dark season, you need community. You need your Church family. You need people around you who can attest to God's goodness. Who can remind you that they were RIGHT THERE at one point. They were where you're at, but now they're not. God will show up, he will heal. He will restore. He will fulfill his promises. He hasn't forgotten. You need community, you need to hear the stories of people who have been there.
I especially love the picture that was painted about the rooster... how roosters bring hope that dawn is near... light is near. The darkness is coming to an end. This time WILL end. We all need roosters in our lives. People who are constantly reminding us that this painful, heart-wrenching, agonizing, dark, lonely season WILL come to an end. That light is coming. Jesus is coming. He will free us. He will heal us. He will restore the hurting.
I look back on the past year of my life, and realize it was an incredibly dark, painful, agonizing, impossible season.
I faced some hard stuff. Stuff that might take me a while to share. Stuff that lived for YEARS hidden and buried, not talked about, not thought about, untouched, forgotten. Stuff that, as it began to surface, and as I began to feel it and grieve it, God began to heal it.
I can't sit here and tell you it was a quick, pretty, relatively pain-free experience.
It was not.
It was messy, and hard, and not very fun, and agonizing at times.
There were a lot of tears.
There were days where I was just sure I couldn't go on.
I couldn't feel the way I felt for one more second.
I couldn't face the things I was facing one more time.
But I did.
And God showed up.
But, I have to be honest, I could have never done it alone.
In my darkest season, I had friends around me. Friends who I was going there with. Friends who knew where I was at, and were walking (or, RUNNING) with me.
In my darkest season, I was fully submerged in community. I was there. Every week. At Life Group. At work. At church. In community. I wanted to isolate. I wanted to run! I wanted to get the heck out, but I didn't.
In my darkest season, I had roosters all around me. So many. One in particular was a VERY loud rooster... Every Friday, I would sit on Alyssa's couch and she would remind me "You can do this. Don't give up. It won't be this bad forever. It's just a season. It's just a process. There is hope. God will restore. He will show up. He will heal. It won't be like this forever." When I left that couch, there was a confidence that hope was near. Something in my soul knew that light was coming. Even though it felt impossible. Even though I didn't want to face another day. Even though my heart was broken and my pain was overwhelming, there was hope. Morning was coming.
I look back on the past year, and realize my morning has come. The darkness has lifted. Light has filled my life. That impossible feeling is gone. There is healing. There is restoration. There is joy.
And more than ANY of that, there is a reason I went through it.
Dan's last point tonight was this: People with experience are important when you're in the dark. You need to find people who have been there before. Who have traveled that road. Who have been through some of what you've been through. Because they bring a different insight. They bring different perspective. They KNOW that road better than others.
I hope that, some day, God will use my story to help me journey with others. Other women who are experiencing the same pain and suffering that I have experienced. Women who feel like they can't go on. Like there is no hope. I know that I went through that awful, painful, miserable, dark season so that I would know the road. And be the rooster for someone else.
What I love is that, even though there was so much hardship, there is tremendous victory in my story.
God rescued
and redeemed
and set free
and healed
and saved
and restored in my story.
This verse is quickly becoming one of my favorites because it speaks of the HOPE we can have in God, and his great desire to free us from the darkness...
"Nevertheless, that time of darkness and despair will not go on forever...The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine." Isaiah 9:1-2
The kind of day where you look back and realize that the painful, dark, impossible, awful season you were in has finally given way to a new, joyful, beautiful one?
I had that day today.
Dan spoke at the Stirring today, and had an amazing word about traveling alone.
He framed it all around an experience he had while running during the wee hours of the morning.
Alone.
In the pitch black.
He talked about the importance of friends when running in the dark. About how friends bring clarity and courage, because in the dark you can start to believe some crazy things.
They remind you of the reality of the situation.
This won't go on forever.
You can get through this.
It's going to get better soon.
This is just a season.
Keep going.
Be strong, don't give up.
Because it's easy to forget what you know, what the truth is, in the dark. Friends remind you.
Another point Dan made was that when you're in a dark season, you need community. You need your Church family. You need people around you who can attest to God's goodness. Who can remind you that they were RIGHT THERE at one point. They were where you're at, but now they're not. God will show up, he will heal. He will restore. He will fulfill his promises. He hasn't forgotten. You need community, you need to hear the stories of people who have been there.
I especially love the picture that was painted about the rooster... how roosters bring hope that dawn is near... light is near. The darkness is coming to an end. This time WILL end. We all need roosters in our lives. People who are constantly reminding us that this painful, heart-wrenching, agonizing, dark, lonely season WILL come to an end. That light is coming. Jesus is coming. He will free us. He will heal us. He will restore the hurting.
I look back on the past year of my life, and realize it was an incredibly dark, painful, agonizing, impossible season.
I faced some hard stuff. Stuff that might take me a while to share. Stuff that lived for YEARS hidden and buried, not talked about, not thought about, untouched, forgotten. Stuff that, as it began to surface, and as I began to feel it and grieve it, God began to heal it.
I can't sit here and tell you it was a quick, pretty, relatively pain-free experience.
It was not.
It was messy, and hard, and not very fun, and agonizing at times.
There were a lot of tears.
There were days where I was just sure I couldn't go on.
I couldn't feel the way I felt for one more second.
I couldn't face the things I was facing one more time.
But I did.
And God showed up.
But, I have to be honest, I could have never done it alone.
In my darkest season, I had friends around me. Friends who I was going there with. Friends who knew where I was at, and were walking (or, RUNNING) with me.
In my darkest season, I was fully submerged in community. I was there. Every week. At Life Group. At work. At church. In community. I wanted to isolate. I wanted to run! I wanted to get the heck out, but I didn't.
In my darkest season, I had roosters all around me. So many. One in particular was a VERY loud rooster... Every Friday, I would sit on Alyssa's couch and she would remind me "You can do this. Don't give up. It won't be this bad forever. It's just a season. It's just a process. There is hope. God will restore. He will show up. He will heal. It won't be like this forever." When I left that couch, there was a confidence that hope was near. Something in my soul knew that light was coming. Even though it felt impossible. Even though I didn't want to face another day. Even though my heart was broken and my pain was overwhelming, there was hope. Morning was coming.
I look back on the past year, and realize my morning has come. The darkness has lifted. Light has filled my life. That impossible feeling is gone. There is healing. There is restoration. There is joy.
And more than ANY of that, there is a reason I went through it.
Dan's last point tonight was this: People with experience are important when you're in the dark. You need to find people who have been there before. Who have traveled that road. Who have been through some of what you've been through. Because they bring a different insight. They bring different perspective. They KNOW that road better than others.
I hope that, some day, God will use my story to help me journey with others. Other women who are experiencing the same pain and suffering that I have experienced. Women who feel like they can't go on. Like there is no hope. I know that I went through that awful, painful, miserable, dark season so that I would know the road. And be the rooster for someone else.
What I love is that, even though there was so much hardship, there is tremendous victory in my story.
God rescued
and redeemed
and set free
and healed
and saved
and restored in my story.
This verse is quickly becoming one of my favorites because it speaks of the HOPE we can have in God, and his great desire to free us from the darkness...
"Nevertheless, that time of darkness and despair will not go on forever...The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine." Isaiah 9:1-2
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Chaning of Seasons
Today was perfect.
I woke up late, spilled my coffee, got to church late, forgot a bunch of stuff, misplaced my keys, misplaced my half-spilled coffee (about a dozen times), forgot to give multiple people multiple things, left my breakfast on the kitchen counter, didn't remember that ONE really important thing for that ONE really important person... but amidst all this chaos,
Today was perfect.
Why, you ask?
Because I'm full of joy.
It's been a while.
This past season of my life has been a difficult one. For many reasons.
During the hardest parts, I remember asking the people walking the closest with me "Will I ever just have JOY again?" because, during those agonizing times, the joy wasn't there. I was full of hurt. And sorrow. And grief. And anger. And unforgiveness. And pain. Lots of pain. I never thought the joy would return. It was like, one day it was just gone. And in it's place were all of those other, difficult feelings. I couldn't figure it out... WHY pain? WHY so much of it? WHY me? WHY now?
I found myself on my face before God asking these questions everyday. So angry with him. So confused. So frustrated. Will I ever just have joy again? I began to think the answer was no.
I was wrong.
Because today, there I was, sitting in a blue pew, looking out at a group of kids, singing songs about Jesus, and my heart was overflowing with joy. Not just the "I-fee-so-happy-right-now" kind of joy. No, it was much bigger than that. That's just an emotion. This, my friends, was more like a change of season.
From a season of pain to a season of joy.
The great part about this is that, although hard times will come, they won't seem so hard now. When your posture is that of joy, even the most impossible things have a way of working themselves out.
That is why today was perfect.
It marks the beginning of a new season for me; a season of joy.
That, AND my kids (not really MY kids, but I feel that way sometimes... that's another blog I've yet to write...) got up and kicked some major booty singing this morning. There were some major bloopers, but that's what makes it so much fun.
I love what I do.
Here's a great picture captured by the lovely Georgia.
It was a good time.
I woke up late, spilled my coffee, got to church late, forgot a bunch of stuff, misplaced my keys, misplaced my half-spilled coffee (about a dozen times), forgot to give multiple people multiple things, left my breakfast on the kitchen counter, didn't remember that ONE really important thing for that ONE really important person... but amidst all this chaos,
Today was perfect.
Why, you ask?
Because I'm full of joy.
It's been a while.
This past season of my life has been a difficult one. For many reasons.
During the hardest parts, I remember asking the people walking the closest with me "Will I ever just have JOY again?" because, during those agonizing times, the joy wasn't there. I was full of hurt. And sorrow. And grief. And anger. And unforgiveness. And pain. Lots of pain. I never thought the joy would return. It was like, one day it was just gone. And in it's place were all of those other, difficult feelings. I couldn't figure it out... WHY pain? WHY so much of it? WHY me? WHY now?
I found myself on my face before God asking these questions everyday. So angry with him. So confused. So frustrated. Will I ever just have joy again? I began to think the answer was no.
I was wrong.
Because today, there I was, sitting in a blue pew, looking out at a group of kids, singing songs about Jesus, and my heart was overflowing with joy. Not just the "I-fee-so-happy-right-now" kind of joy. No, it was much bigger than that. That's just an emotion. This, my friends, was more like a change of season.
From a season of pain to a season of joy.
The great part about this is that, although hard times will come, they won't seem so hard now. When your posture is that of joy, even the most impossible things have a way of working themselves out.
That is why today was perfect.
It marks the beginning of a new season for me; a season of joy.
That, AND my kids (not really MY kids, but I feel that way sometimes... that's another blog I've yet to write...) got up and kicked some major booty singing this morning. There were some major bloopers, but that's what makes it so much fun.
I love what I do.
Here's a great picture captured by the lovely Georgia.
It was a good time.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Starting Over
I overheard a conversation between a one of my Sunday School teachers and a 2nd grader this past Sunday. The issue was that free play was over, and all of the toys needed to be put away. This particular student was in tears. She was devastated. She did not want to put her puzzle away. She had been working ALL morning on that puzzle. She skipped out on the fun group activity and a handful of other things to diligently work on her puzzle. When her teacher announced that free play was over, she was told to put the puzzle away. The rest of the day would be spent doing guided activities and lesson time; no more time for the puzzle. This was the point in which this well-behaved, sweet tempered little girl lost it. She started crying, sobbing, protesting this sudden change in activities. When her teacher caught sight of what seemed to be an unprovoked melt-down, she pulled this little one aside, and this is the conversation I heard:
teacher - "What's up? Why are you so upset??"
little one - "I'm not ready to put it away!!"
teacher - "Put your puzzle away? But it's time to move on, we have a lot to get done today sweetie."
little one - "But I don't want to start over... I CAN'T start over. It's too hard, I worked really, really, really hard on it. I don't want to start over. Please don't make me start over..."
To which her teacher simply replied "I know sweetie. I know..."
I'm not sure how the teacher resolved this problem because at this point my eyes were brimming with tears, and I had to walk away.
There was so much truth in this 7 year-old's declaration.
Some days it seems too hard.
We don't want to start over.
We simply think we CANNOT start over.
It's too confusing.
We've put too much work into our lives, into our past, our puzzle.
We beg and plead with God to let us continue living our lives.
But he always calls us to start over, doesn't he?
At some point, he tells us it's time to start over.
I've been spending a lot of time in the book of Romans lately.
Today I was reading in Romans 6, and all I could think about was the conversation I'd heard on Sunday between the 2nd grader and her teacher.
Isn't Romans 6 all about starting over? Isn't it telling us of the amazing, new opportunity we have right in front of us? Sin's power is broken! We are slaves to it NO MORE! We are given the chance to start over. To leave that old, broken, messed up life behind and start new.
Sure, we've probably put a lot of work and devotion into that old life. But it's a broken life. It has no promise. It holds no good thing for us.
Sure it's hard to walk away.
It's scary
It's confusing
It's painful
It gives us doubts
But the reward.... oh it's so beautiful.
If you know me, you know I have a pretty large tattoo on my arm. It took hours to complete. It's something I thought about for over a year before pursuing. To me, it depicts the freedom I found in Christ. The way he set me free from my past, from my old life. It basically captures the essence of Romans 6 in a picture through my eyes.
People look at it, and they see a million things... they try to guess what each thing symbolizes. When they ask me what it means, or what it represents, I simply say "God gave me a new life."
Isn't that what starting over is really about? A new chance. A new life.
And do you know what the greatest news of all is? It's never too late to start over. It's never to late to say YES to God and start over with this new, beautiful, wonderful, free life he promises us.
I know, for me it seemed impossible. My past seemed TOO ugly, TOO messed up, TOO hard to be forgiven. For a long time, I felt like I needed to live in the pain of my mistakes and the wreckage of my old life... until finally, one day, a friend of mine helped me realize that no matter how bad I felt, I could never feel bad enough. Christ paid the price for ALL of it. Everything. Even the stuff I thought was too ugly and hard and awful to be forgiven. It was all forgiven, and it was time for me to start over. Because, you see, I'd been rescued.
I'd been given a new life.
And it was from THAT life that I should be living.
I know it all seems a little all over the place... the Sunday School conversation, the tattoo, the puzzle, new life, forgiveness, starting over... but in my opinion, they are all related. Wouldn't you agree?
teacher - "What's up? Why are you so upset??"
little one - "I'm not ready to put it away!!"
teacher - "Put your puzzle away? But it's time to move on, we have a lot to get done today sweetie."
little one - "But I don't want to start over... I CAN'T start over. It's too hard, I worked really, really, really hard on it. I don't want to start over. Please don't make me start over..."
To which her teacher simply replied "I know sweetie. I know..."
I'm not sure how the teacher resolved this problem because at this point my eyes were brimming with tears, and I had to walk away.
There was so much truth in this 7 year-old's declaration.
Some days it seems too hard.
We don't want to start over.
We simply think we CANNOT start over.
It's too confusing.
We've put too much work into our lives, into our past, our puzzle.
We beg and plead with God to let us continue living our lives.
But he always calls us to start over, doesn't he?
At some point, he tells us it's time to start over.
I've been spending a lot of time in the book of Romans lately.
Today I was reading in Romans 6, and all I could think about was the conversation I'd heard on Sunday between the 2nd grader and her teacher.
Isn't Romans 6 all about starting over? Isn't it telling us of the amazing, new opportunity we have right in front of us? Sin's power is broken! We are slaves to it NO MORE! We are given the chance to start over. To leave that old, broken, messed up life behind and start new.
Sure, we've probably put a lot of work and devotion into that old life. But it's a broken life. It has no promise. It holds no good thing for us.
Sure it's hard to walk away.
It's scary
It's confusing
It's painful
It gives us doubts
But the reward.... oh it's so beautiful.
If you know me, you know I have a pretty large tattoo on my arm. It took hours to complete. It's something I thought about for over a year before pursuing. To me, it depicts the freedom I found in Christ. The way he set me free from my past, from my old life. It basically captures the essence of Romans 6 in a picture through my eyes.
People look at it, and they see a million things... they try to guess what each thing symbolizes. When they ask me what it means, or what it represents, I simply say "God gave me a new life."
Isn't that what starting over is really about? A new chance. A new life.
And do you know what the greatest news of all is? It's never too late to start over. It's never to late to say YES to God and start over with this new, beautiful, wonderful, free life he promises us.
I know, for me it seemed impossible. My past seemed TOO ugly, TOO messed up, TOO hard to be forgiven. For a long time, I felt like I needed to live in the pain of my mistakes and the wreckage of my old life... until finally, one day, a friend of mine helped me realize that no matter how bad I felt, I could never feel bad enough. Christ paid the price for ALL of it. Everything. Even the stuff I thought was too ugly and hard and awful to be forgiven. It was all forgiven, and it was time for me to start over. Because, you see, I'd been rescued.
I'd been given a new life.
And it was from THAT life that I should be living.
I know it all seems a little all over the place... the Sunday School conversation, the tattoo, the puzzle, new life, forgiveness, starting over... but in my opinion, they are all related. Wouldn't you agree?
Sunday, December 5, 2010
12.5.10
Today was a whirl-wind of business!
Up at 5:30
At the church at 7:15
Set up
Team shows up (well, the part of the team that wasn't ill!)
Kids Meeting
Prep classrooms
Kids show up
Christmas song practice
Christmas craft picture-taking
Parents up up kids
Repeat the last 7 steps for the 11:00 service
Tear down
Lock up
Lunch at Chipotle
Home
Store
Church
Bake scones (yum!)
Talk w/ Roomies
And here I am. Sitting in bed. Blogging away.
PHEW, Sunday's are a BUSY day!
Tonight, Nate spoke out of Luke 1. The part of the story where the angle shows up to Mary and tells her that she's going to give birth to the son of God. And Mary says yes. Nate really landed on the fact that Mary was a young, YOUNG lady from a no-where town. But God chose her. And she said yes. The part of Nate's message that really struck me was that when God chooses us, He knows what he's doing. He knows that we can get through the extremely hard, discouraging times, because WE didn't choose us, HE chose us. And when he chooses us, he sees something in us that we can't see. He knows the men and women we're becoming, so we have to trust him. Trust that when he chooses us, and we say yes, that he really knows what he's doing. Am I making any sense? This was such a profound and pertinent realization for me tonight.
I want to elaborate, but I'm exhausted, and my brain seems to be shutting down. I'll leave you with this, because it's something I've been meditating on all week:
"For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right." Psalm 84:11
Up at 5:30
At the church at 7:15
Set up
Team shows up (well, the part of the team that wasn't ill!)
Kids Meeting
Prep classrooms
Kids show up
Christmas song practice
Christmas craft picture-taking
Parents up up kids
Repeat the last 7 steps for the 11:00 service
Tear down
Lock up
Lunch at Chipotle
Home
Store
Church
Bake scones (yum!)
Talk w/ Roomies
And here I am. Sitting in bed. Blogging away.
PHEW, Sunday's are a BUSY day!
Tonight, Nate spoke out of Luke 1. The part of the story where the angle shows up to Mary and tells her that she's going to give birth to the son of God. And Mary says yes. Nate really landed on the fact that Mary was a young, YOUNG lady from a no-where town. But God chose her. And she said yes. The part of Nate's message that really struck me was that when God chooses us, He knows what he's doing. He knows that we can get through the extremely hard, discouraging times, because WE didn't choose us, HE chose us. And when he chooses us, he sees something in us that we can't see. He knows the men and women we're becoming, so we have to trust him. Trust that when he chooses us, and we say yes, that he really knows what he's doing. Am I making any sense? This was such a profound and pertinent realization for me tonight.
I want to elaborate, but I'm exhausted, and my brain seems to be shutting down. I'll leave you with this, because it's something I've been meditating on all week:
"For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right." Psalm 84:11
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