Broken

I believe we are all uniquely broken. Some of us come from broken families or relationships. Maybe our past was broken. Maybe our brokenness is not our fault. Perhaps it was. I also believe that our brokenness, if we allow it, can become our greatest source of passion.


You see, I am completely broken. Broken for a nation, for a population of people, for a generation of children who are growing up in poverty, without food, without water, without many of their basic needs being met. I saw a glimpse into the world of an innocent child who was born with a death sentence simply because she cannot afford basic medication. I witnessed the joy of a young girl who's entire life belongings fit into a box smaller than a chapter book, yet her love was genuine and her joy was overwhelming. Her smile invited you into something greater than your circumstances. I can still hear her laughter. Sometimes I wake up and swear she is in the room with me. My heart leaps at the idea. She captivated me with her presence, her love for God, her faith, her courage, her bravery, her boldness, her love, her kindness, her faithfulness. At the young age of 13 she has faced death over and over again. She has experienced things I will never have to. She has overcome more than most. I am completely broken for this girl, and the million others like her. My heart longs to go, to do, something for her, for all of them. To change it. To make it better. I am uniquely broken. But I am positive of this: God is using my brokenness. It is not a brokenness that needs fixing. It is a brokenness that needs to remain. A brokenness that needs to fuel my passion to see and be change for my sweet Leah.

Celebrate.

Sometimes, God has funny timing. It was just about a year ago today that I was sitting at the Risen King conference, questioning God and his goodness and his love and his desire for my me and my life. Things in my life were painful and confusing and I was coming out of an extremely difficult season. I was so overwhelmed by the battles I was fighting. I remember sitting at that conference, when I was given a note. A note that spoke God's truth. That reminded me to celebrate all that has happened in my life. All of the obstacles I had overcome. All of the ways God had picked up the pieces of my crazy, shattered life, and begun to put me back together. I tucked this note safely away, and would go back time and time again to read it. It would redirect my thoughts and would encourage the deepest places of my heart. I must have read this note over 100 times. It's words became etched on my heart. "Celebrate! This is a season of celebration for you!"
This morning, I was standing in the same building where this note was given to me. Suddenly, I began to see just how much has changed in my life. Just how much God has brought me through. Just how much I've overcome. Just how much victory I have. Just how much freedom I have. God's faithfulness literally brought me to tears this morning. Where there was once pain, there is now joy. Where there was once discouragement, there is now hope. Where there was once fear, there is now confidence. I was reminded again today to celebrate God's goodness and faithfulness to us. I'm so thankful for this note, and the way it acts as a reminder in my life. I can go back and remember where I was, and look at how far I've come. Remembering what we've come through is so important, as is celebrating our victories.

"He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground, and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a NEW song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed. They will put their hope in the Lord."

Reminders.

I have a fancy iPhone.
One of the many perks of said phone is that I can set ANY picture I so desire as my background. So, every time I check the time, the phone rings, I get a text message, someone comments on something on one of my many Social Networking pages, I see this picture. It's safe to say that I see this picture rather frequently. I would say, on average, over 100 times a day. Now, you may be wondering why I'm sharing this seemingly unimportant information with you... the reason is this: Every time I see this picture, it reminds me to pray. You see, the picture I have as my background is frequently different, but always has one thing in common: children. It's not always the same children, but there is always a child of some shape or size in that picture. It reminds me to pray. To pray for the children in my life. The ones I know well, the ones I know not so well, the ones I see on Sundays, the ones I see on other days of the week. It reminds me to pray for their identity, to pray for their hearts, to pray for their innocence, to pray for their futures, to pray for their relationships with God. It reminds me that I have an incredible opportunity to shape a generation for a life with God. It reminds me that my time with them is precious, and that I should pray often for them.

Sof's face is the current face on my background. She's my reminder. I see her sweet face, and I'm reminded to pray.