Wednesday, May 30, 2012

a little emotional and a LOT thankful

Do you ever feel like you're EXTRA sensitive?
EXTRA emotional?
EXTRA passionate about something?
That's been me this past month or so.
It could be the up-coming trip to Africa to visit orphans for  14 days.
Or maybe it's the fact that God is pushing me in an uncomfortable and painful and wonderful direction.
Or perhaps it's both.
Whatever the reason, I find myself incredibly thankful.
Thankful for the loyal friends who stand beside me in the thick of it. Loving me. Encouraging me. Pushing me forward. Letting me figure things out. Allowing me to be real and honest with them through this whole process.
Thankful for a loving God, who is patient with me. Who embraces me all the time. Even when I'm a mess. Even when I make mistakes. Even when I lose my temper. Even when I have a bad attitude. Even when I don't trust him all the way.
Thankful for the way my heart breaks and beats for a generation to know the love of their Father.
Thankful for the love I have for the children I haven't even met yet.
Thankful for incredibly generous people who fully and completely believe in me. Even when I don't believe in myself.
Thankful for tears. Sounds crazy, I know, but I know God is up to something big when the tears come. Sometimes they're tears of joy, but mostly they're tears of pain. It hurts to grow. It's hard, and uncomfortable and a struggle. But I face the obstacles every day, tethered to the truth that God is with me. He won't leave me. He won't forsake me. He is a trustworthy, loving, faithful God.

As frustrating and painful and stretching and scary as this season is, I'm incredibly thankful for it and for all that will come out of it.

"When doubt fills my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer."
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