Tuesday, February 25, 2014


Today's Tuesday. If you follow what Dan's doing with The Rooster Party, you know that Tuesday means #RealTalkTuesday

I've been reading this book called The Gifts of Imperfection.
Let me just first say that I did NOT want to read this book. I was honestly a little annoyed when my book club picked this book to read this month. I just wasn't having it. There are a list of reasons that I will spare you at the current moment, but I had my reasons. As I (begrudgingly) sat down with this book, the author's words began to pierce my heart. It's like she isolated my exact thoughts and beautifully captured them in ink, word for word in her book. As I was reading, I had a really eyeopening realization:
Vulnerability produces courage, and courage produces hope. 
(And we all know that hope can move mountains.)

For some people, they hear the word "vulnerability" and they immediately break out into a cold sweat, "Share my feelings? No way. Talk about how I'm ACTUALLY doing? Not a chance."
Others hear this word and they immediately check out of the conversation. "Eh, feelings just aren't really my thing. Sorry..."
Some hear it and think that they're going to have to share their deepest, darkest secrets, and frantically start searching for the nearest exit.
But for ME, this word has kind of been one that has shaped my life. I've always felt like I'm supposed to live a life of vulnerability. God has given me a really wild story, and I feel like I'm supposed to be really honest with people about it. And let me tell you, it's difficult and it's been a huge journey for me. Learning how to have wisdom and boundaries with my vulnerability has been a struggle, but I just feel like it's something that's so important!
See, when we're vulnerable, we are putting ourselves out there. We are embracing others in their brokeness and letting them know "YOU ARE NOT ALONE!" We are pushing past discomfort to bring truth and light to the darkness that's around us. And when we do that, do you know what happens? The people around us are filled with courage. As we share our hurts and wounds, the people around us realize they're not the only one who struggles with that addiction. They're not the only one who's been in that situation. Our stories fill others with the courage to keep on going. And when we're filled with courage, suddenly our situation is surrounded by hope. Hope that this addiction won't last forever. Hope that the impossible relationship can be restored. Hope that redemption can happen in a marriage or family. Hope that someone else has been in my shoes, they know how I feel, and this pain I'm in won't go on forever.

Vulnerability produces courage, and courage produces hope.

Whether we realize it or not, when we're real with the people in our lives, when we open up and share our WHOLE hearts, we are harvesting hope all around us.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Real Talk Tuesday: Plans

Real Talk Tuesday: Plans
(Check out the heart and idea behind Real Talk Tuesday here.)

Ever since I can remember, I've been a planner.
I like plans.
I like to sit down and map out my plans.
I like to know what's happening, when it's happening and how it's happening.
I like order.
I like control. (You're probably thinking I've got some issues. You are correct.)
For the last 9 months of my life, nothing has gone according to the plan.
I didn't plan to quit my job. The job that I LOVED, the job that I was good at. The job that I worked SO incredibly hard for 5 years to build and keep.
I didn't plan to leave my friends and family behind and move to Colorado.
I didn't plan to have to say some of the absolute HARDEST goodbyes of my life.
That was not the plan.
Some days, I am so full of anger and sadness and pain and bitterness. All I can think to myself over and over again is "This was NOT the plan..."
This was not the plan.
I've got a lot of forgiving to do.
I've got a lot of healing to do.
I know that.
I'm working on it, okay :)

I know what you're DYING to tell me right now: "Emily, never fear, God has a plan. His plan is so much (fill in the blank) than yours. His plan will never (fill in the blank), don't worry...." I know, everything in your BODY wants to say that to me. You want to assure me that the God of this universe has always had a plan for me.
Here's the thing: I know that. I know it. Trust me, I know. But I'm still angry. And hurt. And sad. And lonely. And furious. And bitter. And heartbroken. And struggling. Even though I know that "God's got a plan, Emily!" it all still sucks. And I'm still wounded.

Want to know the truth that I hold onto? God will make EVERYTHING beautiful in it's own time.

Right this second is not my time.
Images by Freepik