FAMILY-it just "clicked"

So I've decided I'm not very good at this "blogging" thing. I'm just not very graceful with my words, thats all. I always start a blog, get half way through it, then get totally frustrated, and erase the entire thing. This is my fifth attempt at this particular blog, so bare with me. 

Last night at the Stirring we began a new conversation about family. Nathan did such an fabulous job of addressing the eye opening topic of the family God has intended us to become part of. How, although our biological family may not provide us with the love and support we desire, there is an entirely different type of family out there, waiting for us to join. (How am I doing so far? Still making sense??)

Okay, so toward the end of the night, Nate began to pray for the different members of this family of God.... He began with the Fathers- talking about how they need to call out their sons and daughters, and provide for them with support. Then he began to pray for the Mothers, and something really went a bit crazy in me. I have no children, I don't even have any younger siblings. I am not an auntie to any little boys or girls, but when Nate started praying for the Mothers, I began to think about who I am. You know, my personality, my role at work, my role at the Stirring, my role to my friends, my role in this family of Christ... and it clicked. It totally clicked. I am a Mother. I am a nurturer. I love to bake cookies and treats for my friends. I love to sit with a friend (or a total stranger!) who is going through a horrible time, and provide advice, a shoulder to cry on, a place to come and find safety. I love being around children (HELLO!! I spend hours with tons of them on Sunday nights!!). Do you even know how many times in my life I've been told "Emily, you are such a MOTHER!!" At work, I'm the one telling people to be nice to each other, and constantly (yes, CONSTANTLY) picking up after people, and not even thinking twice about it. I'm always bring treats for the people I work with, and just making sure everybody is doing okay in general. I befriend the newest person, and try to make sure they feel at ease and welcome at work. At my last Life Group, one of the guys in it told me that I just gave off this motherly energy, like you could come to me, and just be yourself and be accepted. All of this is suddenly making sense to me. It's like God's been dropping me these subtle hints, and He finally got kind of annoyed that I wasn't getting it, and helped me figure it out! HA! I like to think that God has a sense of humor :) 

But seriously, I'm only 23, and I realize that I have a lot of living left to do, but I'm such a motherly figure in this family. Maybe not as motherly as some (those who are ACTUALLY mothers perhaps!) but I've got some of it figured out, ya know? I know how to love. I have such unconditional love for so many people. Some of them that I've only just met. For so long I couldn't figure out why I was able to love people so easily, and so wholeheartedly, without even thinking twice. I've always loved to nurture people, and now I can begin to understand why God's given me this amazing gift. But now, how do I put it into action? How do I seek people out, and offer this love and support and advice and comfort without looking like a CRAZY?  This is the point I'm at right now, and some of the questions I'm struggling with. I appreciate those of you who've provided me bits of enCouragement in the past. I love knowing people are actually reading this silly blog (that I'm not so great at). 

I'm so excited about the place God's given me in His family. It really just gives me this sense of ease and joy. And seriously, I really do enjoy baking cookies, brownies, rice krispie treats (no real baking involved, but still delish!) so any special requests? Let me know! 

Thanks all, much love! OH, and I'm feeling LOADS better! My head is clear, my nose is clear, my chest is clear, my throat doesn't hurt.... just this gnarly sounding cough... I can live with that!! 

Current mood: sicker than a dog!

In all reality, I suppose I did this to myself. All cold/flu season long, I've been bragging about how healthy I've been, and how I haven't even had so much as a stuffy nose. I figured the flu bug was long gone by now, and it was smooth sailing from here on out.... WRONG! I woke up this morning with the back of my throat on fire, and my nose so stuffed up, I sound like Kermit the Frog! I have been downing vitamins and Air Born for the last few hours, praying that it will work. This is my Spring Break! I do not want to spend it curled up on the couch, surrounded by a mountain of kleenex! So here I sit, staring at my "DO TO" list, not wanting to move an inch off of my couch. Like I said, I guess I did it to myself... I spoke too soon. Bummer!! At least I have the next two days totally free (no work, no school, yessss!) so I can rest and drown myself in DayQuil :) The only thing that really, REALLY stinks about this, is that I was supposed to head home (over to Humboldt) for the next two days to visit my parents. My mom was so excited, and I'm afraid I've broken her heart by telling her I wasn't coming. She understands, but is still pretty bummed. I was really looking forward to the ocean, my mom's cooking, the lovely fog over on the coast, and of course Los Bagels. (They are only the greatest bagels in the WORLD! And they are only located in Arcata/Eureka). Here's a picture of the Arcata Los Bagels. I will be dreaming of their bagels... and waking up to my Kermit voice... Ugg!

enCouragement!

Have you ever had one of those moments when God really blows you away? Like, He totally just pin-points something in your life that you've been really struggling with? It's a feeling like no other... God blew me away tonight. For the last couple of months I've been praying for God to really change the way I see myself. I've been praying for God to help me see the beauty HE sees in me, and to forget the lies I've been told in the past, and believed for so long. I've been praying that these lies be something I believe no more. Well, tonight something remarkable happened. Tonight at the Stirring Nathan was wrapping up the seven o'clock service, and he asked everyone to stand. He had been talking about encouragement tonight, and while we were praying, he asked that God reveal to us in what ways He wants to encourage us. So Nathan asked the question, and then we were all silent, listening for God's voice, awaiting an answer. So I began to ask God how He wants to encourage ME specifically, and what word He wants to reveal to me, as a way of encouragement. Then I let the silence really surround me. I erased everything else from my mind, focusing on my question. And then the strangest thing happened... suddenly the word BEAUTY came into my brain. It was like God finally got His chance to shed some light on my self-image. I mean, I've been struggling with my self-image for a VERY long time now (over 10 years) and now God is beginning to change me... it's so crazy! It was amazing, and I don't really think I'm doing this moment in my life much justice with my blog, but I wanted to share with all of my fellow bloggers  :)  God sees beauty in me that I don't see, so perhaps I should keep on looking....