Confession #2

I hate trains. I don't know why, I can't explain this unreasonable fear of trains that I have. Every time I hear a train approaching, I freeze up. I panic a little. My body temperature rises, my hands get clammy, my toes curl. I have this unrealistic fear that I'll be stuck on the train tracks, and as the train gets closer, it can't stop in time. Some of my friends think it's funny to mess with me, and they will stop their car on the rail road tracks... this sends me in freak-out mode. I yell, I hit, I kick, I throw things. Don't mess with me around trains. Ever! There is no explanation for my fear of trains, but its real. I will even go out of my way to avoid the railroad tracks, and if a train is crossing in front of me, I close my eyes, and plug my ears... it's a bit childish, I know, but desperate times call for desperate measures!!

Confessions

So I've decided to get honest with my fellow bloggers.
I'm going to post a series of "confession blogs" confessing my deepest darkest secrets to all of my faithful blog readers.
First confession: I am slightly obsessed with brushing my teeth.
No joke, I brush my teeth after every meal. Sometimes it's up to 5 times a day. I know, I know, it's not good for your teeth to brush this much, yadda yadda yadda. I don't care. They don't call it an OBSESSION for nothing! So, aside from the fact that I love brushing my teeth, I have a little routine that I go through every time I brush. First, I have to use ICE COLD water. I let the tap run for a bit to ensure the correct temperature. Once the water is set, I run my tooth brush under the water for at least 30 seconds. I need my brush to be very wet before I apply the tooth paste. After I put the perfect amount of tooth paste on my brush (not too much, YUCK!) I have to run the brush under the water again for another 30 seconds minimum. After I've prepared my tooth brush with the tooth paste, I begin the brushing. I usually start on the right side of my mouth. Moving from top to bottom to top to bottom, and so on. After about a minute, I switch sides and continue my routine. After both sides are done, I work on the front teeth. Sometimes I have to put more tooth paste on the brush to ensure that I give all teeth equal attention... I usually brush for a good 3 minutes. Then I rinse my mouth out two times, rinse my tooth brush out, and that concludes my favorite daily activity. If I could, I would brush my teeth countless times in a day. I love it. I also love getting new tooth brushes, and new tooth paste. I have to be sure to buy the right brands and styles... I've basically got it down to a science. I know it's a bit ridiculous, but this is a confession people. I'm bearing my soul to you. My deepest darkest secrets. Remember that! Stay posted for the next confession.... I promise, it will be good!

Life is good!

I'm officially done with finals. It has got to be the greatest feeling on earth! I passed all of my classes this semester, and now I'm officially a CSU Chico student. Nice. I'll buy everybody a Chico State license plate holder, sweatshirt, or some other lovely souvenir! I now have piles of dirty dishes in my sink, and a floor that is in desperate need of sweeping due to my die hard, week long study session. I can now lay out by my pool, clean my house, watch t.v., sleep in, go running and enjoy my life stress-free. It's an amazing feeling. I'm on vacation. Who's coming over to celebrate with me?!

Oh yeah!

One down

Two to go!

I'm so almost done with finals. 

Ug.. school... so lame

Today is Saturday

I hate school. It's as simple as that. Next week marks the beginning of Finals Week for me, and saying I'm unprepared is the understatement of the year. I have a HUGE Biology test covering seven (yes SEVEN!) chapters, and I have not even begun to study. Why do I procrastinate? Why why why? Is it because going to the pool seems like a better idea, or because sleeping in is so much more appealing? Uggg. I regret those choices in times like these, when I'm to my maximum capacity of stress and anger. Even the thought of studying gets me anxious and sweaty, thinking about taking the stupid test that I'm totally not ready for. On top of my massive Bio test, I have to give a "small" presentation to my class on a classroom lesson. Like the real deal. And when I say "small" I mean it has to be at LEAST five minutes, with a ton of criteria that is basically absurd. And to make matters worse, I have to give two of these "small"presentations. One for math and one for language arts. I guess the reality of becoming a teacher is taking place as we speak. I also have an Anthropology test that I have to study for... I love my Anthropology teacher, but I hate the way he teaches some things. We just covered a chapter on religion. It was a pretty heavy chapter. It's totally obvious to me that my instructor is pretty jaded and callused toward religion. I'm not sure why, but he makes it totally clear by the way he teaches this chapter. He makes all Christians look really  naive and simple. I get pretty heated in conversations like this, so I had to literally bite my tongue while he was lecturing. I think my face said it all, because he would occasionally look at me and ask if anybody had any comments or questions. Oh boy did I ever have a comment or two I could give him, but I chose to keep my big mouth closed. 

Stress if overwhelming, and I'm beginning to freak out a bit over school. One more week. I can make it through one more week, right? Here's what the week looks like

Monday- 10:30 am massive Biology test

Tuesday- Recover from test/ study for Anthro/ prepare "small" presentations/ take online History test

Wednesday- Finish cramming for Anthro

            - 5:00 "small" presentations

    - 7:00 Anthropology Test

Thursday- VACATION OFFICIALLY STARTS!

I can do it! (I hope!)

Random thoughts on a Tuesday night

I don't really know how I feel about spilling my guts on the internet, where anybody can read it. People I know and those I don't. People who know my heart, and people who are judging me. I just don't know how I feel about it. I find myself intending to be totally honest, but end up holding back a lot. 

Today was a strange day. I woke up around 8 and headed to Erika's house to keep some crazy kids entertained while their mom's chatted over an uninterrupted cup of coffee. The kids were rambunctious but we had a blast together. There is never a dull moment with them, but I always feel guilty leaving the Edwardson's home looking like a tornado just ripped through the place. Erika insists that "this is clean" but I know better! 

After hanging out with the kids, I headed to run some errands around town, but found myself driving aimlessly through parking lots and down random streets. I've been feeling like I've got too much going on in my head lately. I'm always thinking about something, and I don't seem to have any peace. I finally parked my car in the PetSmart parking lot, and made a few phone calls, trying to ease up some of the "stuff" i've got going on. By the time I was done, the clock told me I was about to be late for my lunch date. Carnegies never fails to help my mood. This time, however, I had to stuff my face at lightning speed, and jet to my staff meeting. Poor Meghan and Bethany were feeling sick (and Josiah too!!) so we kind of cut the meeting short. I was a bit bummed because most of the stuff swimming around in my head has to to with either the Stirring, the Stirring Kids, or just God in general. I'm feeling better though because I have a meeting set up with Nate and Bethany on Friday. Hopefully we can sort through some of this stuff. 

I'm feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. I constantly get the feeling that I'm not doing a good enough job. Where do these feelings come from? It's like I go through waves of it. Sometimes it seems like everything is going smooth, then I get an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy for the position I'm filling. I continuously try to lean on God through all of this, but I'm afraid I'll end up flat on my face! I bottle it all up, and now things are about to really blow up. My stress level is through the roof. Ug, is school over yet? Thanks for listening to me vent about my day. Tomorrow will bring new things. Thank goodness for that.

Michael Buble'

Last night was the time of my life. It was possibly one of the greatest moments thus far in my 23 years, 4 months, and 12 days of existence. Last night, at 8:30-ish p.m I was falling in love with a man known as Michael Buble'. If you aren't familiar with him, go! Right now! And look at his page. He is an amazingly talented musician. And he's oh-so-dreamy too! I bought tickets for his concert about 4 months ago, with the words of my best friend Annette ringing in my ears... "Em, if you EVER have a chance to see Michael Buble' DON'T PASS IT UP!...." So, I bought the tickets, anticipating greatness. Oh boy, did Michael deliver. His concert was by far the greatest concert I've ever been to. Now, granted, I haven't been to THAT many concerts, but Michael will always set the bar for perfection in my book. He is charming, funny, BEAUTIFUL, and his voice is out of this world. I'm beyond ecstatic that I bought the tickets, and I'm wishing I could go again, and again, and again....