is this really happening?!

I can't believe this is actually going to happen... I got a phone call from the surgeon today telling me that my surgery is officially scheduled for Friday August 1, at 8:15 in the morning. I'm not ready for this. My brain hasn't really begun to comprehend this whole process, and I'm just not ready to have my back cut open! I'm freaked out and dreading Friday so much. I think the worst thing is that I have to miss the baptism on friday. What a bummer. I'll be in the hospital for two nights after the surgery. The hospital I'm staying in is called the Patience Hospital (I think). It's Dr. Tate's own personal hospital over off of Eureka Way. If anybody's over in that neighborhood, you should stop by and say hello! Thanks to all of the support everybody's been giving me. I couldn't do any of this alone. You guys are so amazing.

avoiding the inevitable

So, to get right to the point, I have to have surgery on my back. On Friday I went to see a different neurosurgeon who gave me some rather blunt news. He said that if I continue to leave my back untreated, I will eventually drag my right foot with I walk. This got my attention rather quickly. I have severe nerve damage in my right foot, caused by the pinch in my upper back, caused by the herniated disk. Dr. Tate (my super funny neurosurgeon) told me on Friday morning that if I hadn't ate breakfast, he would have operated on me that afternoon. Yeah, it's that serious. I guess I'm a little bummed that physical therapy didn't help, but I suppose I was just avoiding the inevitable. The surgery is going to be next week some time, but I'm not sure when. I hate the fact that I was seriously looking forward to next Saturday (baptism) and now I can't go. Bummer. The operation I'm having is called a lumbar diskectomy. It's not super invasive, so that's good, and the recovery time is only 4 weeks. (I say "only" like it isn't much, but in my life, 4 weeks is an insane amount of time to be recovering!!) I'll have to stay in the hospital for 2 days, 1 night. I honestly don't think any of this has sunk in yet. I feel like I'm on the brink of tears every time I talk about it. The thing I'm the most worried about is being alone for 4 weeks. I'm such a social and active person, I'm scared I'll get super depressed alone for that long period of time. I'm also really bad at asking people for their help, so I'm worried I'll be doing everything by myself. I guess at this point I just need prayer for my nervousness and anxiety about the whole thing. I've heard amazing things about Dr. Tate, so that's always reassuring!

Okay, I'm off to bed. I need to process some of this...

and so it begins...

Well, those of you who are following me through this struggle with my back, I have some good news and some bad news. Bad news first. The Neurosurgeon I went to see on Monday told me that basically the only thing that could fix my back is surgery. Bummer. However, I opted for physical therapy for a week, to see if there were any improvements. He also got me a prescription for a high dose of some anti-inflammatory medication to help with the pain. Okay, so at this point in the day I'm feeling pretty discouraged and bummed. BUT WAIT, the good news?? When I went to my first round of PT, my therapist told me that he's seen patients with my same injury, on the brink of surgery, who have totally healed without surgery! YAY! Finally some good news. He gave me some stretches and exercises to do that will help strengthen my back, and get rid of some of the pain. Talk about encouragement! I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. My attitude is much better, and I'm going to work hard in PT. Anything to save me from surgery! Thanks to everybody who's praying for my back. I'm going to see another Neurosurgeon on Friday b/c the first one I saw wouldn't take my insurance, so we'll see what this guy has to say.... I'll be sure to keep ya posted. THANKS!

Update

So, some of you may know that my back has been hurting me for the past few weeks. I went and got an M.R.I. on Thursday which was pretty freaky. Definitely not something I'd like to do again! Well, I went to my chiropractor this morning to review the M.R.I. and he told me that I have a major problem. I have a bulging disk which is pinching my sciatic nerve. I guess in chiropractic talk this is not good! So he then recommended that I consult a neurosurgeon to see what my options are. He pulled a few strings, and got me the first available appointment (Monday 9 a.m.) with the best neurosurgeon in Redding. Basically, my chiropractor said that things don't look good, and he's thinking surgery. He told me that I am absolutely, under no condition to work until we've figure everything out. So I am officially on disability/ unemployment effective immediately. All of this happened before 10 a.m. today. Needless to say I've had a long, emotional, draining day. I'm exhausted, and tired of talking about my dang back. I'm in a TON of pain still, so if ya'll would be praying for my back, and for a slight miracle, that would be outstanding. Also, seeing as I'm without much of anything to do, feel free to come on over and keep me company! I know it's not the end of the world, and I know that God's totally going to take care of me, but I can't help but get a little freaked out about the whole situation. I just want the pain to go away, and to be back to my normal life.

I'll be sure to keep everybody up to date with the plan of action for my back.

My precious Rocky!

So I know that I complain about my cat a TON, but he's just too cute. This first picture is how he often falls asleep. Flat on his back, spread eagle, no shame. He's ridiculous. This next picture is of Rocky in one of his famous hiding spots. If there is an empty box or bag ANYWHERE in the house, you can bet Rocky is hiding out in it. He's usually rather conspicuous in these "hiding spots" but you have to give him some credit, right?!