Sunday, July 27, 2008

avoiding the inevitable

So, to get right to the point, I have to have surgery on my back. On Friday I went to see a different neurosurgeon who gave me some rather blunt news. He said that if I continue to leave my back untreated, I will eventually drag my right foot with I walk. This got my attention rather quickly. I have severe nerve damage in my right foot, caused by the pinch in my upper back, caused by the herniated disk. Dr. Tate (my super funny neurosurgeon) told me on Friday morning that if I hadn't ate breakfast, he would have operated on me that afternoon. Yeah, it's that serious. I guess I'm a little bummed that physical therapy didn't help, but I suppose I was just avoiding the inevitable. The surgery is going to be next week some time, but I'm not sure when. I hate the fact that I was seriously looking forward to next Saturday (baptism) and now I can't go. Bummer. The operation I'm having is called a lumbar diskectomy. It's not super invasive, so that's good, and the recovery time is only 4 weeks. (I say "only" like it isn't much, but in my life, 4 weeks is an insane amount of time to be recovering!!) I'll have to stay in the hospital for 2 days, 1 night. I honestly don't think any of this has sunk in yet. I feel like I'm on the brink of tears every time I talk about it. The thing I'm the most worried about is being alone for 4 weeks. I'm such a social and active person, I'm scared I'll get super depressed alone for that long period of time. I'm also really bad at asking people for their help, so I'm worried I'll be doing everything by myself. I guess at this point I just need prayer for my nervousness and anxiety about the whole thing. I've heard amazing things about Dr. Tate, so that's always reassuring!

Okay, I'm off to bed. I need to process some of this...


Sarah said...

know that your not alone in this friend! I will drive for you, cook for you, read to you, talk to you...whatever you need! you can count on it:) sucks, but the result is always better..and I'll be there with you:)

Becky Moseley said...

I know we've only really talked a couple times, but my heart goes out to you. I'm living with a chronic illness, so I know that any pain isn't easy, especially when it begins to isolate you. Can I come hang out with you too? Maybe bring little Marty and make a date of it?

hannahrae said...

I've met Dr. Tate! He is so brilliant and such a kind gentle man! You'll be in great hands!

I'm praying for you like crazy! and I'll come hang out with you all the time when you're recovering!

Love you girl!

Anna said...

We will be out of town so we can't come visit you but we will be praying for you. My step mom is actually having surgery next Thursday in the same hospital w/the same doctor! Craziness! Good luck and remember that it will be worth it. :)

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