Monday, July 2, 2012

Ready to know their names.

I leave for Africa in 25 days.
In 25 days, I will be boarding a plane headed to a completely foreign country.
People's first question for me is "are you excited?" quickly followed by "are you ready!?"
My answer to both is I have no idea.
I have no idea if what I'm feeling is excitement, fear, terror, anxiety, joy, happiness, stress, or just pure love.
I have no idea if I'm ready for a completely and totally brand new experience.
How do you prepare for something totally unknown?
Beats me.
All I know is I can not wait to hug and kiss and love and embrace the children that God has so prepared my heart for.
I haven't met these children, but I already have so much love for them. I feel like my heart used to be a brand new balloon. Never been used, still fresh and new. But from the time I said yes to God about going to Africa (actually, it was probably before that moment if I'm really honest) God has been filling that new balloon with love and passion and His heart for the children in Kenya and Uganda. He has been giving me this crazy amount of love for them. Something that words can NOT express. I sit here, trying to put into words how much my heart longs and breaks and beats for these kids. And words fail me. Nothing can conceptualize the feeling I have when I think of them, all of them. These children who's names I do not know, but who's hearts I long for. I want to embrace them, and shower them with the passion that fills my heart. I want to look into their eyes, and tell them how much I've been anticipating meeting them. I want them to know how desperately their Father loves them. How much he fights for them. How much his heart breaks for them.
I have NO idea if I'm excited to go to Africa, but I DO know I am so anxious to meet the children who's faces I dream about, and who's smiles keep me up at night. I feel like I already know them, and I'm so incredibly ready to kiss them, and tell them all about I've been waiting for our moment together.

No comments:

Images by Freepik