Monday, January 27, 2014

Emily Dates Boulder: The First Date

So, I've been on two first dates since my last post. Two in one week, that's a new record for me! Both with really nice guys, who I hope to have a second date with one of these days. But honestly, no matter how sweet and kind the date is, there's something SO uncomfortable about the first date. Here are a few of the most uncomfortable moments from MY first date experiences:

-The Meet: I always find myself full of anxiety right before I get to the designated location of said date. Will I recognize him? Will HE recognize ME? Will he look like his profile picture? Will he even be there? What if he's a midget and just lied about how tall he is? I'm always overwhelmed with the possible disaster this first meet could potentially turn into.

-The Conversation: After the initial meet, I tend to over-think the conversation, which leads to me either 1. Over-sharing or 2. Talking WAY too much about something WAY off-topic. I do this because of that painfully uncomfortable lull in conversation. Awkward silence is bad enough when you're talking with someone you've met before, but when it's a complete stranger, it's just terrible. Ugh, the worst. Seriously. I would rather give step-by-step instructions on how to make instant oatmeal than let a conversation die with a stranger who I'm on a first date with. It's like a phobia of mine. I wonder if there's a 12-step program out there for me...

-The Check: Now, there are certain expectations about The-Paying-Of-The-Bill. I kind of expect the dude to pay! I may be old fashion in this way, but hey, I'm a lady! But it's terribly uncomfortable and presumptuous to just assume he'll pick up the bill. It seems I always get to the point in the night when I'm done (and I mean DONE) with the date. These two dates happened to fall on days when I had had an unusually long and exhausting day at work, so come 8:00, I was toast. I wanted to be home, in my pajamas, reading my book or (judge away judgers) crocheting something cozy. I didn't want to be over-thinking and over-complicating conversation with a stranger. But what am I supposed to do? Reach for the bill, and hope he picks it up? Hint for the 12th time that I'm super tired and ready for bed (hoping that THIS time he'll pick up on my painfully obvious hint-dropping)? What I usually do is just wait it out, and try to not fall asleep in the process.

-The Good-Bye: This part is equally as uncomfortable as The Meet. Do we hug? Do we shake hands? Do we high-five? What do I say? By this point in the night I'm past the point of exhaustion, so I can't be held accountable for my actions. Do I tell him I hope to hear from him soon? And then, when I'm in the car, I start reliving the goodbye. Did I thank him for driving 45 minutes just to buy me dinner? Did I even thank him for dinner? 

There's just no two ways about it; the first date is uncomfortable and full of painfully tense moments. However, I've been REALLY fortunate to have had my past few first dates with some seriously stand-up men.

I'm confident that at least a few of you reading this have your own "Awkward First Date" stories. I'd LOVE to hear them. I know I'm not alone in feeling the tension of meeting and conversing with total strangers!

Check out more of the story behind the dating stories here.

Be sure to follow my journey! #EmilyDatesBoulder

1 comment:

Jesse Lee said...

If you thought it was difficult for you, try being the guy in this situation. . .you would be the one with implied expectations. . .you would have to constantly make the first move and you wouldn't know what was individually acceptable. . .discomfort is one thing, but reading the situation is something completely different if you are a male. . .not diminishing your experience, just shedding light on the other side of the coin. . .I love you cuz and I appreciate the female perspective that you bring!! :)

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