A thankful moment

I need a thankful moment.
I've been zipping through the days lately, not taking much time to appreciate the things I'm so thankful for. I found myself busy, stressed and discouraged today. I hate that. I couldn't get to the bottom of it... until just now. I realized I need a thankful moment. There's something about ignoring all of the negative, bad, annoying, discouraging, stressful, taxing things in the day and pinpointing ONE thing of thanks.
Today, I'm thankful for heartfelt Valentine's Day cards handcrafted by 7 year-olds.

Zeke made me this sweet card. I hung it right by my door. I look at it as I am rushing in and out of my room. It's importance to me goes beyond the message displayed on it. It holds great value in my eyes. I am so thankful for it. I hope that one day, Zeke knows how much I love him and his generous heart.

Family continued...

Living in Family has been hard for me.
I feel like I need to start by saying that I love my parents and my sister.
Very much.
My mom and dad have been incredible parents. They really have.
But it's safe to say that childhood wasn't a dream.
The truth is, things were difficult.
And those difficulties turned a scared, insecure little girl into an even MORE scared and insecure grown-up girl.
A girl who always questioned her place in her family.
Who never knew if things were safe.
Who didn't want to "rock the boat" or draw any kind of attention to herself.
Walk on eggshells. Don't make waves.
These were the messages that carried over into my adult life.
So, this is some of my baggage that I so slyly carried with me into this NEW family I found myself part of.
A family where people said it's OK to be yourself... but the fears remained.
A family where there was health and truth and understanding... but the fears remained.
What if they find out who I REALLY am, and leave?
Rejected.
Again.
What if I bear my soul, and they walk away?
Abandoned.
Again.
Living in Family has been hard for me.
But, as the walls came down, and the secrets came out, and the soul was beared (is that a word?), the craziest thing happened: This Family stuck around.
Nobody ran for the hills.
Nobody told me I was too much, that my baggage was too great to handle.
Nobody rejected or abandoned or betrayed.
As the walls came down, and the truth came out, I was received with love and compassion.
The fear in my heart was replaced with trust.
But it had to start with the walls coming down.
Family is hard.
It's messy and scary and all over the place.
But God hasn't called us to live on our own. We have been called to live in this crazy, messy, all over the place family. And as our walls start to come down, God will replace our fear with trust. He will replace our abandoned and rejected hearts with hearts that are loved and embraced and accepted.

Living in Family has been hard for me, but God has used this family to heal those wounded parts of my heart.

Today, I'm thankful for Family and the health that comes with it!

Life Group

I love my Life Group.
Laughter, tears, snacks, birthdays, prayers, awkward transitions, highs and lows... Such a fun night. I love hearing heart's cry of the women in the Stirring community.
It's unbelievable to me how similar some of our struggles are.
Going around the group tonight, there was one resounding theme: Discouragement.
Discouragement in our relationships
Discouragement in our jobs
Discouragement in who we are
Discouragement all around.
Something really powerful happens when a group of women come together and share their hearts, revealing lies we've been believing, and then pray for one another, releasing God's truth in our lives.
God has so much freedom for us. And this group is where it will begin for some. I'm stoked to be part of it. To watch lives being transformed. To share in this amazing time.

Tonight, just like many more Tuesday nights to come, I'm thankful for my Life Group.
And for Life Group Birthdays :) Because Shelby bakes treats, and they're ALWAYS good!

Today is Saturday

I got to spend the day with a room of leaders today learning about leading.
It was simply wonderful.
I loved every minute of it.
Dave Kraft lead the conference. He's a pastor at Mars Hill church in Seattle and the author of this book.
Dan has some great stuff to say about today. Check it out!
As I sat there, learning a TON of valuable and helpful information, I realized a few things...
-First and most importantly, I am led by incredible leaders. They have taught me so much about how to grow. How to lead. How to hear God's voice. I consider myself extremely lucky to be serving side by side with them.
-There's always, ALWAYS more to learn. Just because things are going "smoothly" doesn't mean a thing. Things should be ever-changing. I should NEVER be satisfied with the "status quo." Ever.
-I don't ask enough questions. I feel like one of the best ways to know if you're learning is if you're asking questions. I don't ask NEARLY enough questions.
-I love learning and growing and being challenged and stretched.

It was so great having some of my amazing Stirring Kids team there. I can't wait to pick their brains about what they took away from the conference.
What a great day.
I need to go process some of the info from today... so much stuff!!

One of my FAVORITE questions that Dave asked today was "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

I hope this questions constantly comes back to me.
WHO am I? What's the cry of my heart? What is my life screaming?
And WHAT am I doing here? What am I doing with the passions in my heart? With the dreams I have? With the strengths and gifts God has given me?

SO, who are YOU? And what are YOU doing here??

Today I am thankful for tough questions, and amazing leaders.

Snagged the picture from here. So great!

Today is Friday

Today was a good day.
I got to stand before a group of women tonight and bear a little bit of my soul.
It was not easy.
I fought with God for about 2 hours last night about it.
The things he was calling me to share... I just wasn't ready.
It felt too hard
too soon
too much
too uncomfortable
too heavy...
I just wasn't going to do it.
Something else. ANYTHING else. I'll talk about whatever ELSE you want.
Just
Not
This
Two hours of this. Back and forth. But one thing was certain: God wanted me to share.
So I did.
I stepped out in faith that God would show up, and use my words, use my story, use my pain to work in someone else's life.

Sometimes it's hard, though, when you step out and never really know the result.
I'm not sure if my story helped another in their journey.
I guess this is the part where I trust God. More.
It's easy to trust God with our story and our past hurts and wounds when we are the only one who knows about it.
It isn't until you bear a little piece of your soul in front of 80 women that you REALLY have to trust God.

I read this tonight, and I love it-
"Nevertheless, that time of darkness and despair will not go on forever... The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine."

Tonight, I'm thankful for God's great light in my life. I'm thankful that this promise, the promise of darkness being forever vanished in the presence of light, in my life.

Day 6... I think?

I started the day off with a list of 10 things I love about today.
It was a good list.
I think I'll end the day with a list of 10 things I'm thankful for today.

1. Wise friends who make delicious BLTs.
2. The smell of a new baby.
3. Discovering a new band and falling in LOVE with their music.
4. Randomly finding $100 in a desk drawer.
5. "Together alone time" as Shelby would call it.
6. Moments of reflection.
7. Valentine's Day decorations.
8. Random conversations with the stranger and her little daughter in front of me at Trader Joes.
9. Making it to the gas station WITHOUT running out of gas :)
10. Love stories (I'm a huge sucker for a good love story).

10 things I LOVE about today

I woke up discouraged this morning.
For no particular reason, just discouraged. A bit sad. A little overwhelmed. Maybe a hint of loneliness in there too.
As I was getting ready for the day, I had this moment with God. I was thinking to myself "I'm discouraged. Today's going to be awful." Then God, in all of his loveliness, spoke to me, "Emily, you're discouraged, but I'm still here. Ask me for encouragement. Ask me for joy. As me for peace. Ask me for my presence today. I WILL say yes! Today will only be awful if you let it be awful."
Boom.
Just like that, perspective.

"...Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable." Philippians 4:8

SO, I've decided to make a list of 10 things I love about today. I hope you enjoy them, and maybe you'll make your own list.

1. I love that my Dutch Bros. peeps know my drink. Even if I'm not ordering. And notice that I dyed my hair. They're so presh.
2. I love that my cat thinks his GIANT body can fit in tiny spaces. So funny.
3. I love that my alarm clock is a Weezer song.
4. I love that I got to use my BRAND NEW vanity today.
5. I love that I woke up without any allergies.
6. I love that the sun is shining SO beautiful and bright outside.
7. I love that I found a dollar in my jeans.
8. I love that Jenna is in the office with me today.
9. I love that I get to have lunch with Julie Read.
10. I love that my heart is content.

I will fix my thoughts on these lovely, wonderful things. I will fix my eyes upon the truth my Father reminds me of. He WILL say yes.

Day 5

Today, I'm overwhelmingly thankful for my Life Group. Only the second week, and already God is moving. I thought to myself tonight, THIS is what community is all about! Opening up your home, eating dinner together, praying together, laughing together, crying together, sharing struggles and pains and wounds, but also sharing joy and encouragement.
My favorite part of the group is the way we begin: We share our "highs and lows." We go around the room and everyone shares their high for the week and their low. It's beautiful to hear the hearts of these amazing women, as they share their low with their eyes brimming with tears. And in the same breath, we get to celebrate their most joyful moment of the week.
This really is what it's all about. Living life together. Reminding each other of the CONFIDENT HOPE we have in our Savior.
Tonight, I was reminded why we sometimes go through the crap we do: it's so that we can be a glimmer of hope to another woman who's heart is hurting and lonely and wounded and broken and who feels like she can't possibly go on one more day.
I've gone through the incredibly hard and horrible things I have so that I can be a face of someone who lived through it. A reminder that this is only a season. We can trust in our Father to redeem those broken places.
My heart is full of hope tonight. Hope for the women in my Life Group. Hope for my own life and story as God continues to shape it. And my confident hope in Jesus.

Day 4

I've said it before and I'll say it again; I love Sundays.
Sure, it's a long day.
Sure, there's a lot that goes into it from start to finish.
Sure, there are bumps along the way.
Sure, I need a quad-shot americano to help me function.
But every Sunday, I'm reminded of why I do what I do.
I get to see kids come alive.
I get to watch them learn about their place in this family.
I get to experience God revealing Himself to these little ones.
I get to encourage other leaders of the calling on their lives.
Yeah, it would be nice to sleep in.
Yeah, I'd love to have another day to check things off of my "to-do" list.
But I couldn't imagine my week without the moments I have on Sundays.
Like the mom who told me this morning that her two daughters were up at 5 AM pulling her out of bed, asking if it was time to go to church. Five. Oclock. In. The. Morning.
That's really early.
Or like the mom who told me that her 3 year old told her, while walking the beaches of Costa Rica, that she wished they could go to the Stirring in Costa Rica. They are strolling along amazingly beautiful, sandy beaches, and she's thinking about the Stirring Kids. Amazing.
Or the dad who told me that his son NEVER goes ANYWHERE without a kicking-and-screaming-and-clinging-to-his-shirt match. Except the Stirring. The look of pure joy and victory on this dad's face was enough to make me cry. (Doesn't take much, but STILL!)
Or the mom who asked me how to start a conversation with her daughter about Baptism, because the mom can see how much God is working in her daughter's life. This all coming from a mom who just met Jesus herself. And already, she can recognize the transformation in her daughter. Wow.
Or the little boy who gazed up at me with big, brown eyes and declared "Jesus lives in my heart. Forever. Did you know that? I can't wait to tell my daddy! He doesn't know Jesus yet, but he will. Because I pray for him, and so did my teacher this morning!"
Or walking with a leader who has more favor and anointing on her life than she knows, and who just pours her passion for Jesus out during the 2 hours with her class.
Or the OTHER teacher who is changing the lives of the hard-to-reach students in her class by talking to them like they MATTER, and by showing them the love and compassion of Christ.

THESE are the moments that remind me that ever early wake up, every sacrifice, every frustrating moment, every ounce of stress, every single moment of work is worth it all. Just to hear and see these stories. Just to help shape a generation to have confidence in their relationship with Jesus, and to show them the love God has for them. Just to call out the potential in a young leader who I believe has a calling on her life to change the lives of kids around the world. It's all worth it. Just to see lives changed.

My biggest prayer is for my passion to bring God fame. He's the one who has placed this passion in me. This is merely his love and desire and passion for his children living in my heart. May God get all the glory.

Today, my heart is full.
Today, my passion burns.
Today, I am thankful.

Here's a great shot of two of the littlest Stirring Kids.

Day 3

I did it! I made it to 7,000 views. This is a big day for me. Wow, I didn't even have a speech prepared or anything. Such a rookie mistake.

I've got a lot to be thankful for today, however I don't have much time to share it... I'm currently 42 minutes overdue for a date with my pillow. Yep, 10:00 sharp on Saturday nights. That 5:00 am alarm clock is pretty brutal.

Today, I'm thankful for:
-The creative imagination of children
-The way Mo twirls his hair. I hope he does that for life. I know, it might be a bit weird when he's a teenager and is still twirling his hair, but right now, as a 2 year-old, it's pretty darn cute!
-Unexpected weeks of sunshine and lovely weather in the middle of January. I mean, seriously you can't beat Redding's weather for the past week or so!
-The way Mt. Shasta looked today. Breathtaking.
-The way I feel after completing my last set of push-ups after a good jog. Especially a jog that leaves my legs burning a little.
-Being able to sleep with my window open again.

I sure hope Saturday was good to y'all.
I'm now going to bed.
Shalom.

Day 3

I'm only a few views away from 7,000. So fun! I know, I know, to some that may seem like a VERY LOW number of views, but for little ole me it is a big deal!

Anyway, I was so excited about my Gratitude post today. Throughout the day, I've been scribbling down a few things here and there that I'm thankful for.
My list was pretty long.
I was so excited to share it with all of you.
Funny thing about it is.... I left it at work.
Bummer.
But here's what I remember:
-Paperclips
-Pilot 27G pens (or is it G27...?)
-Sharpies (especially brightly colored ones!)
-Colored copy paper (my favorite part of the week is when I get to pick the two colors that the Stirring Kids sign-in sheets are printed on. Oooooh boy, I look forward to it every week!)
-Avocados
-Sticky notes (second time I've listed them... they deserve a spot on EVERY day's list!!!)
-New lotion and body wash (I have an entire drawer dedicated solely to my Bath & Body Works lotion and body wash... sad but true).
-My many quirks (I shared one earlier... more to come. Don't you worry!)

I have no idea where this love for office supplies came from, but ask my mom. She'll tell you I've always loved it. When I was good (which was VERY often) I'm pretty sure she'd reward me by taking me to the local Staples (Arcata doesn't have an Office Depot, okay?!) and let me pick something out. I'd usually go with a new pen, or a pack of sticky notes. Sometimes I'd get a new folder or a Sharpie to add to my collection. What 7 year-old has a Sharpie collection? Most 7 year-old girls collect Polly Pockets! Not me. I stuck with the office supplies. So great.
Clearly, these guys share my passion for Sharpies. Love the picture!

Day 2

I've decided to blog for thanks again. 30 days to be exact. I'll be posting one blog each day with one, or more, things that I'm thankful for.
Today, I'm thankful for:
-Coffee. This whole cleanse thing is really killer. No coffee. Cold turkey. I'm dying.
-Warm blankets. When winter hits, I pile up the blankets on my bed. The thicker, the better!!
-Baby carrots. I know, random thing to be thankful for, but think about it; baby carrots are the easiest, healthiest little snack EVER.
-Music. I love music. All kids of music. I love hearing a new song for the first time and listening to the way the beautiful melodies weave in and out of the lyrics. If you know me, you know I'm usually always dancing, humming, singing, whistling, snapping... Music kind of LIVES in me. Today, I'm really thankful for music. Hmmm, I think I'd like to come back to this topic when I'm NOT on the verge of falling asleep.
-Sun roofs. Enough said.
-My running buddies. (quick, how many times have I been thankful for them?? Probably over 17... and that's only counting the times I've blogged about it!!). They're the best. And my waist line thanks you as well ladies!
-Pint-sized office visitors. I had one two yesterday, and two more today. They make my day. What can I say, I love children.

That's all for now. I hope y'all had a fantastic Thursday.

My New Challenge.

It's not Thursday, but I'm feeling the need to post a few things I'm thankful for. I've found that since November and my Gratitude Challenge, only posting once a week on the things I'm thankful for has left me feeling a little empty. I miss the daily goal of finding one, or more thing that I'm truly thankful for. It was a discipline that I'd begun to really love. Having that posture, the posture of thankfulness, began to do something in me. It began to really change me. It changed the way I viewed my day. The way I viewed my conversations, the way I viewed my morning cup of coffee. It really began to shift my focus. And suddenly, I see my focus switching back. SO, I think I'm going to start another challenge. I'm calling it the Gratitude Challenge II. I'm going to blog another 30 days of thanks. And, to go along with my thanks, I'm going to blog one thing I learned. Every day. For 30 days. Who's with me? Maybe you need to do a 30 days of organizing challenge, or a 30 days of silence (from some kind of noise in your life) challenge, or a 30 days of creativity challenge instead.
Me?
I need to do this Gratitude Challenge. It's where I need my focus to be. It's the lens I need to view my days through.

Today, on day 1 of my challenge, I am thankful for new hair-dos. I got my hair cut and colored today. There's just something about a cut and color that changes a girl's life. I always walk out of the salon thinking "MAN, I feel good!" I may have walked in with a bad attitude and a poor perspective on my day, but I sure left on top of the world, and looking good to boot! Here's a shot of my new do...


And, the one thing that I learned today is that tomatoes are a fruit. I think I already knew that. But I guess I RE-learned it. Wonderful!