Friday, January 28, 2011

Today is Friday

Today was a good day.
I got to stand before a group of women tonight and bear a little bit of my soul.
It was not easy.
I fought with God for about 2 hours last night about it.
The things he was calling me to share... I just wasn't ready.
It felt too hard
too soon
too much
too uncomfortable
too heavy...
I just wasn't going to do it.
Something else. ANYTHING else. I'll talk about whatever ELSE you want.
Two hours of this. Back and forth. But one thing was certain: God wanted me to share.
So I did.
I stepped out in faith that God would show up, and use my words, use my story, use my pain to work in someone else's life.

Sometimes it's hard, though, when you step out and never really know the result.
I'm not sure if my story helped another in their journey.
I guess this is the part where I trust God. More.
It's easy to trust God with our story and our past hurts and wounds when we are the only one who knows about it.
It isn't until you bear a little piece of your soul in front of 80 women that you REALLY have to trust God.

I read this tonight, and I love it-
"Nevertheless, that time of darkness and despair will not go on forever... The people who walk in darkness will see a great light. For those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light will shine."

Tonight, I'm thankful for God's great light in my life. I'm thankful that this promise, the promise of darkness being forever vanished in the presence of light, in my life.

1 comment:

Alyssa said...

So proud of you, of this journey that has been so hard yet so life changing. Thanks for being obedient! Love you

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