Love

I am a sucker for love.
Every love story
Every love song
Every love poem
Every love movie
Everything that is love,
I'm in tears, every time.
Maybe it's because love is hard for me.
Or, should I say, love WAS hard for me.
To be loved, to love in return, to show love, to accept love, to feel love, to KNOW love, to BE love. It was impossible.
Months ago, if I had to describe my biggest insecurity, hurt, wound in ONE word, it would have been "unlovable."
I simply was unlovable.
It was something that ran extremely deep in my life.
Something that was reinforced time and time and time and time again.
For years, I felt that everywhere I turned, every relationship I was in, ever mirror I faced, all I could hear and see was that I was unlovable.
Simply, utterly, completely unlovable.
Until the Father got a hold of my heart.
He showed me what it means to truly be loved, and to truly love in return, and to truly accept love.
As I've said in previous blogs, God began to reveal to me just how much He loved me.
And it changed everything.
So now, when I hear a love song or see a love story, the tears are not the same tears of pain and
sorrow and
hurt and
longing and
betrayal.
But instead, they are tears of understanding.
I now understand what it feels like to be SO loved, that songs and stories would be written about your love.
God has changed that.
And He has forever wrecked me for love.
I am a sucker for love.